Batboys x Reader

Stab First, Questions Later (Jason Todd x Reader)

"(N/N)...." Dick softly begins.

"Do-don't Dick, you know better. People don't come back from the dead, Jason's no exception." I spit.

I spin around on my heel, marching towards my motorbike. I zip Jason's old leather jacket up and swing my leg over the bike. I turn the key and sit for a moment, listening to the purr of its engine. It's a solid machine and comfortable. With each turn, the side of my leg skims against the ground. My mind wanders to Jason for a second, whenever he had a difficult night we would ride together. It was therapy for both of us.

One moment I am moving around the corner, the next I am falling in slow motion. I brace myself for the pain to come, knowing that nothing can be done about it. I hit an uneven bump in the road, I must have. But despite the anticipation of bruising, I'm thankful that the road is empty. As I groan in pain I pick myself up and get my bike ready to ride once more, making a note-to-self: "I'd get there faster and more surely if I go slower.". As soon as I park my bike outside my apartment complex, I scurry down the path towards my apartment, my shoes slapping against the stone steps that lead to my front door. 

I find that I can't fit my key in the lock. My fingers are jumping rhythmically, as if in spasm...And then my legs gently fold and I subside slowly, ungainly as a marionette. I clutch my hand over my mouth, trying to hold it in. But my pain comes out like an uproar from my throat in the form of a silent scream. I wrap my arms around my knees and stare into space as I feel a tight grip wrapped around my heart. It squeezes and squeezes not allowing me to breathe and slowly, my tears begin to fall, and one after another the fits start to happen and I can't stop them. It hurts so bad. I prepared myself for everything but this, yet, here I am, curled up on the floor outside my apartment, wondering what I could have done to save Jason from the Joker.

I wipe my tears away before standing up and somehow stumble inside. I linger near the door, there is something that makes me nervous. It could be the tincture of the wrong aroma, or the temperature being slightly too cold - like a window had been opened in my absence. I'm not sure. My instinct tells me to run, call Dick, Tim or Roy, ask them to come over, but I decide I'm just tired and paranoid, walking in regardless.

I take a shaky breath and wipe my eyes once more before turning on the light. I drop my bag on the floor and immediately head to the kitchen, grabbing a small piece of (F/F) and shoving it in my mouth. When I turn around I find the notorious Red Hood sitting on my only couch. I grasp onto one of the knife's on my drying rack and hold it out in front of me causing him to chuckle. He stands up and stretches before taking off his helmet. 

"Stab first, questions later. Glad to see you haven't changed throughout these years," He remarks.

"Get out of my apartment, I'm warning you!" I threaten.

"I'm not here to hurt you darlin', I'm here to talk," He chuckles.

"About what?" I snarl.

"I know I've changed love, but I thought you would've recognised me at least," He frowns.

"Jason," I gasp.

I feel my skin drain of its colour, becoming white as chalk. My eyes and my mouth are frozen wide open in an expression of stunned surprise. I feel my breath become caught in my throat. My words left me. I can't will my lips to move. As if I'm stuck underwater, everything is slow and warbled. 

"Get out," I growl.

"What?" he asks.

"GET OUT!" I yell.

"Why?" he suddenly asks.

"I don't know how you knew about Jason but he's dead." My voice shakes.

"Wait, please. It's hard to explain but it's really me baby, it's me." He pleads.

Burning rage hisses through my body like deathly poison, screeching a demanded release in the form of unwanted violence. I tackle him and hold him down so he could not fight back. I seriously doubt he could've anyway as my fists continued to hit his face. 

"It's me! It's me! Calm down, baby, please." He begs.

My walls, the walls that hold me up, make me strong just... collapse. Moment by moment, they fall. Salty drops fall from my chin, drenching Jason's shirt. I'm trembling once more. I can't-can't stop. Each sob punches through, ripping through my whole body. It feels as if my life has begun crumbling in my fingertips. Then, suddenly, Jason's arms are wrapped around me. My hands clutch onto his leather jacket as I continue to sob. We rock together slowly as my tears soak his chest. The time spent sobbing is broken apart by short pauses for recovering breaths, before hurling me back into the outstretched arms of my grief.

"I loved you!" I cry out.

He sighs, "I know you did, and I loved you. But I'm not right for you, I never was."

"That wasn't your choice to make, it was mine. I decide who I want to spend my life with and I want it to be you, Jason! I had to let it all go. The way you kissed me, the way you smelled, hell, even the way you touched my waist and pulled me in. I don't wanna lose that again, Jason. I don't wanna lose you again." I explain.

"You won't then, I promise." He reassures me

When we were young our love was quite indistinguishable from lust. Our passion bonded us together, our laughter and our good times kept us happy. Then Jason went away, and I ceased to function as I had before. There was a hole, an emptiness where he had been. Everything in the apartment had reminded me of him and I would go his clothes in the closet just to smell his musky scent. I missed him. I wanted to wake up with him for the rest of my life, to be his partner, his love. Now I might just be able to do that.