You wouldn't care if i explained

Abused

i cant get what you did out of my head
i never will
i say i forgave you
i blocked you out
but the abuse still hurts
i cant drive by your exit
it reminds me of when you told me you wouldn't care if i walked into the road
i look at my call history and remember when it was all you
when all you would do was scream at me on the phone
and even after, when you'd constantly tear me down
i cant go to my old school without someone with me
i get too scared to walk into the bathrooms we had fights in
i remember sitting on the floor crying
taking a small pair of scissors and cutting out my arm
while you were on the phone
telling me how worthless i was
i remember when your words took me down
when what you thought was all that mattered to me
i never thought i'd make it this far
i thought i'd be stuck in your trap forever
but i think back and remember who we were
when we were naive and thought we were in love
when i couldn't find myself in a situation i didn't feel worthless
you say what i did to you was bad
but you ignore the 8 months of pain
and a lifetime on trauma that you caused
now that you're gone the abuse is more prominent than ever
and hurts more than i ever thought it could