A Second Chance | Nikki Sixx

Chapter 4.

Carly's POV

As I walked further into the rehearsal area, I felt the nerves in my stomach begin to build. It feels like I'm going to throw up, I can hear the music and laughter getting closer. Everything in me is screaming to just turn around and run. Run as fast as I possibly can until my legs give out. But, I can't. I can't keep running away from everything in my life. I stopped right in front of the door to the main rehearsal room. I heard Nikki's laughter and my heart beat picked up. Hearing him laugh, it made my heart seem to finally beat again after months of it not beating. I haven't heard him in person in so long. I don't think I can do this. Sucks that I quit smack because I could really use a dose of it right about now.

After what seemed like an eternity, I opened the door. The music, talking, everything stopped. I stepped in and shut the door. I took a deep breath and turned around, I saw Tommy, Mick, Nikki and I'm guessing, John, staring back at me. I felt sweat starting to form on my hands, it feels like their stares are sucking all of the air out of me, you could cut the tension in the room with a knife. I played with my fingers and felt my chest tighten, I think I'm going to have a panic attack.

"Carly? Is that really you?" Tommy spoke up. I shakily breathed out and nodded. "Y–Yeah, it's me," I said. "Holy shit, where the fuck have you been?" Mick spoke up. "T–Time got a–away from me," I replied. "I–I didn't mean to be-be gone th–this long," I added on. I've never stuttered or struggled with my words this bad in my entire life. Tommy walked over and hugged me tightly. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him just as tightly.

"I missed you, shorty." He said, chuckling slightly. "I missed you, too," I said. "Just take deep breaths, I know you're scared to see Nikki again, I can see you're getting worked up." He whispered in my ear and rubbed my back. I shut my eyes and took a few breaths. "Just like that, you got this, Carls." He said, still whispered so none of the other boys hear. We released from our hug and I looked over at Nikki.

All the air seemed to be taken out of my lungs. He looks perfect, his hair is the longest I've ever seen it. It is way past his shoulders, he has full sleeves of tattoos, he's wearing a black bandana around his head, a plain white tee shirt and black ripped up jeans. He still has earrings in, he's wearing some bracelets and a necklace and... Of course his wedding band. Seeing him wearing one and not having one on my finger made my heartbreak.

Our eyes met again. "Hey," I said, quietly. "'Hey,' is all you have to say to me after 9 years? No calls, no letters, nothing?" He asked, hurt in his voice. "I'm sorry, time–" "Yeah, got away from you. I heard." He cut me off. "That's bullshit," he spat. I flinched a little at the harshness in his voice. "Nikki–" "No, you don't get to talk." He cut me off again. "The first woman I had ever loved, abandons me when I was at my lowest, a heroin addict who was spiraling downwards and you didn't give a shit, you just up and left." He said. "You shoved me, you hurt me," I said. "You punched me in the fucken' nose!" He exclaimed. "Only after you put your hands on me first!" I replied, matching his tone.

"Guys, this is a good day. Carly's back. Don't make this into something ugly." Mick stepped in. "This isn't a good day," Nikki said, he returned his gaze to me. "I saw your stupid interview on TV, I saw the hurt on your face when you heard I was married," he started. "Honestly? It felt good to see you hurt, it was just a taste of how much you hurt me." He said, angrily. I felt tears fill my eyes. "I–I didn't mean to hurt you, I thought I was doing something right," I said. "Don't you dare cry, don't try to make me feel sorry for you and have me hug you, this isn't the 70s or the 80s anymore, Carly. I've grown up and your manipulative ways aren't going to fool me anymore." He said.

I bit my lower lip and looked at the floor. "Wow," is all the came out of my mouth. I looked back up at Nikki. "Nikki, I really did what I think was right, I thought we needed time away from each other, we were going to tear each other apart," I said. "Whatever." He rolled his eyes. "I convinced myself that you would be better off without me in your life and you were!" I yelled, exploding. "For 9 fucking years, I suffered because I missed you so much, I felt like I was going to die from the number of breakdowns I had because you weren't by my side, but look! I was right!" I yelled.

"Right about what?!" He yelled. "Right about you being better off without me! You're married to a beautiful woman and have a beautiful kid! I did the right thing!" I yelled and the tears poured down my cheeks. "We enabled each other with drugs and we brought the worst out in each other, I left because I love you and I was hurting you! You were hurting me! Don't make me feel guilty for something I did that made your life turn out great!" I yelled.

"That's fucking garbage!" He yelled, putting his bass down and walking over to me. "You left because it's the one thing you've been good at your entire life!" He exclaimed. "Oh, this again?" I asked, crossing my arms and looking up at him. "Yes, this again! Every time life gets too tough for you, you run off! You ran away from your parents, you ran away from me for a few days, then 2 years, and this time you left for almost a fucking decade! I wouldn't be surprised if you run away after this argument!" He yelled.

"Don't mention my parents," I warned. "What are you gonna do about it? Run away again? You'd be doing me a favor." He smirked. I wiped the, now angry, tears off my face. "You're not the same Nikki I used to know." I shook my head. "Yeah, I'm not on your leash anymore." He said. "No, you don't have a fucking heart anymore." I spat and turned on my heel and walked out the door. I felt more hot tears run down my cheeks.

Fuck him, man. Fuck him! I sat down on my motorcycle and sobbed. This wouldn't hurt so much if I just lost feelings for him, but I just can't. I tried to cover it up with drugs, alcohol, other guys, nothing works. It's always Nikki, no other guy has ever compared to him, no guy ever will. I heard someone calling my name and I looked up. Fuck, not this shit.

"Carly, is that you?" Sean, my ex asked. I felt fear wash over me. No, no, no. This isn't actually happening right now. Out of all the abusive pieces of shit I've had for boyfriends in the past, none of them were as bad as Sean. He started to make his way over to me and I frantically tried to start my bike. "Nope, not so fast, Carly." He said, sending a chill up my spine and standing in front of my bike and holding onto it.

(A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Please vote, it's greatly appreciated! Feedback is always welcome & encouraged! Okay bye🦁)