Batboys x Reader

Stitches Part 5 (Jason Todd x Reader)

"What are you doing up here?" A man's voice asks.

I turn around to find a tall man leaning against the railing, I notice the red helmet in his hands and the mask which covers his eyes. I walk towards him and sigh, running my hand through my (H/C) hair. Now that I'm closer to him it's far easier to observe him discreetly. He's tall, north of six foot I'd say and he most probably works out in the gym whenever he isn't busy. After a few seconds, his name springs to my name.

"Trying to remember," I reply.

"Remember what?" Red Hood asks.

There's a part of me that's angry. I take a deep breath. I want to vent, I want to shout, I want to let it all out. I inhale sharply and try to focus, I try to remember. It's like a void. A dark void. A never-ending dark void that consumes everything, so I'm left feeling nothing but hopelessness. Nothing is okay! Most people walk around this earth each day and pretend that everything is okay, and it always will be. The hopelessness is always there; I consider myself decent at hiding it, masking it with normal emotions but sometimes it gets hard.

"It's just that, I woke up yesterday morning and I was so sure I was supposed to meet someone. I have been looking for them ever since." I explain.

I can hear the man's voice even though he only haunts my dreams. I can remember that stupid sentence he whispers into my ear each night. What does it mean anyway? Why can't I forget about him like I forgot my past? I can spot the repetition of my dreams, of the script. But still, he haunts me in ways I can never explain, never shake. So much for answers, because I still don't have a clue.

"They're not real, trust me." Red Hood mumbles.

They say the pain dulls with time, and that things will get better. But how can things be better when the reason the pain isn't as bad anymore, is because I've forgotten? Over time, the memories of everyone close to me has escaped my mind. I no longer see the faces in the photos I'm in as family and friends but only as strangers. I can hear the voice from my dreams floating in the winds, calling me as if it is a siren luring its prey.

"I have this feeling that I was supposed to do something." I continue.

"Do what?" He asks.

Nausea swirls unrestrained in my stomach. My head swims with half-formed regrets. My heart feels as if my blood has become tar as it struggles to keep a steady beat. My melancholy mood hangs over me like a black cloud, raining my personal sorrow down on me. I know my memories are locked away inside me, holding on until I am able to remember. But today won't be the day they are released.

"I can't remember," I admit.

"Oh," He sighs softly.

"I...I gotta go..." I mumble.

I journey down to the almost empty streets, feeling rough cracks through the thin soles of my shoes. The wind moves as if I'm not there at all, as if I am a ghost and nothing more. I scurry down the path towards my apartment block. Fallen leaves litter the walkway, bathing it in dark red and orange, and I step on them with a satisfying crunch. The metal of the doorknob is cool against my palm as I twist it with ease, entering my cozy safe haven. I collapse onto the couch and take my phone from my back pocket, staring at the black screen momentarily. I turn it on and type an unfamiliar number into it, a strange feeling washes over me. 

(Flashback)

The woman that stands in front of me could have graced any billboard or magazine cover, but she is better than those two-dimensional photoshopped models. Somehow her imperfections make her look perfect. The casual look of the high waisted shorts and NASA shirt look bold against her skin tone but it suits her so well. In her understated glamour, she might as well be on the television or a girl in a pop video. 

 All of those times when you see him and you cannot breathe until you're with him. Don't you remember what that's like?" She asks.

"No." I deny.

"What do you mean no, You've had boyfriends. What about Jason?" She urges.

"Not like that," I pause "Jason was different," I answer.

(Flashback Ended)

"Hello? Hello? Is anyone there? Can anyone hear me?" A deep voice answers.

The weight lifts from my shoulders as if an overly large child had just leapt off after a satisfying piggyback ride. I sit back and let the happiness soak right into my bones. I close my eyes and savour the moment. For the first time in forever, my body and mind relaxed.

"Jason." I breathe out.

"(Y/N) is that you?" He asks.

"Yeah, yeah it's me," I answer, giggles bursting from my throat.

"You know me? You remember me?" He asks desperately.

"You saved my life." I manage to choke out.

"You saved my life too." He replies.

A fresh start is the weirdest thing, as if everything that happened to this point in time, is a prequel to what comes next. It feels as if that book closed and a new one opened, appearing one word after the other, yet slowly, as if they have a calmness the first volume never possessed. And they come as a natural music, as drops of rain upon a spreading leaf, chaotic and rhythmic all at once. And as these words form, in deepest blue dancing over a white page, they are as dance steps, my own motions, deliberate and intuitive, yet also guided by the ever-present music. And this is the way of everything, the chaos, the synchrony, the guidance... and everything with a sprinkle of destiny. So long as I try my best, I am always where I am supposed to be, and there's a serenity in that, to always be a part of the best story I am able to write, to be a child of this universe, weaved into the fabric of creation.

So I take what I can get