Savior/ Jeffrey dean Morgan

Slur

ADDY

Today I woke up in Jeffs old bedroom, it was weird because the last time I was here Jeffrey was with me. I sit up and look around the room just to dounble check that he wasnt somehow going to pop out. At this point Im not even mad at him, If anything, i wanna just see him.

I miss that man more than anything, and I knew deep down he missed me too. Today I went to the Morgans family reunion, and once again I felt off the entire time.

However I got to hear many stories about Jeff that i knew hed never tell me.

"Hey!" some lady with grey hair calls out to me, running up on me.

she didnt look too inviting, she seemed angry.

"hello" I paused, backing up a bit.

"Wheres jeffrey?" She questions, at this point this question was annoyingly redundant, and very irritating to talk about.

"hes back home" I quickly answer, looking in the crowd to see if i could spot his mother, there was no way i wanted to willingly continue the conversation at hand, i prayed something would distract me, and suddenly i got a phone call from my sister Abigail

Answering quickly I walk away

"When the hell were you going to run it by me that Jon bailed Jeffrey out?!" she yelled angrily over the phone.

well thats news to me. what was he thinking?

"What?" is all i can muster up in response.

"please tell me you already knew?"

"i-i gotta go"

and with that i hung up the phone. Hes out.. not that im angry with that.. its just.. Jon?

I search thecrowd more thoroughly, hoping to find a glimpse of his mother but she must have ran off. I strut back to my car and get in, thinking for a moment how..

i needed to get back.. i need to see him!

---------------------------------------------------

On a whim, i booked a flight back to seattle, hoping to see jeffrey in our home, but to no avail, my house was still empty. Norman told me that he and Andrew pitched in to bail him out. And as a simple payback they want him to start taking anger management classes, although, i think thats a little extra, i do believe that he could also benefit.

Sitting on our bed in complete darkness is how i spent the rest of my night, wondering when he would come through those doors, how angry hed probably be with me. i couldnt stand it, sitting in this empty room without him started eating at me. i decided id get a hotel room for the night, maybe that would help. i wrote him a letter and stuck it on the bed.

JEFF

i called over the friend of mine, but she cancelled last minute, probably a good thing, i didnt want to act out of anger, and do something i would regret. Just knowing that addy was here makes my heart hurt. Not because she was, but because i missed her.

i missed my kids.. fuck i miss my life. Walking to the kitchen grabbing my bourbon i decided to just get shitfaced, maybe the ill feel at ease again.

One shot

Two shot

Three shot

I miss you

Four shot

Five shot

Six shot

Where are you?

Seven shot

Eight shot

Nine shot

I can barely walk, and i love it. I leaned against the wall and slide down sitting on the hardwood ground, i found myself crying. Not tears of anger, but tears of what i lost, and knowing its not coming back.

Just as i started thinking the worst of thoughts, I hear the front door unlock, and to no avail i see her. I dont think shes noticed me yet. I admire her silhouette, i can feel the urge to just run up to her and take her into my arms but how could i do that if i cant even move? She walks over to our bedroom door

"Addy" i slur out quietly.

she still couldnt hear me, she opens the bedroom door and stands there probably noticing my keys were sitting on the bed, along with my wallet. She takes a moment and backs out of the room slowly, almost as if shes scared.

"Baby?" i call out a little louder.

she turns towards the kitchen, and looks to the ground noticing me.

She walks into the kitchen and pulls out a bottle of water, quickly kneeling beside me

"What are you doing..?" She questioned eyeing the bourbon "we both know that this isn't healthy.."

"When have I ever given a shit about being healthy?" I laughed trying to stand up but failing and falling back to the floor.

Addy let out a sigh and walks away. I hear her fiddling around in the bedroom.

"Where's Norman?" She calls out angrily.

"He is with Andy. I insisted they'd drop me off here, but I can tell my presence ain't welcome"

She marches back into the kitchen with two pillows in her hand and a blanket.

"Don't say things you know aren't true jeff"

She plops the blanket onto the kitchen floor along with the pillows. Lying down, she makes herself comfortable, and taps the spot on the other side