Chapter 44: Sometimes on a Sunday

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A few months had gone by and surprisingly I was content although I'm pregnant as fuck, Charlie's still out there somewhere and my life is a fuck show... I'm somehow able to keep myself content. Being engaged to Billy is apparently hard to fathom for everyone who knows the two of us. It was hard for them to accept originally that Billy was dating someone let alone having a child with someone, but to find out that it was Billy who proposed marriage... that was a lot for everyone to take in.

It's now February 13th and I'm only a couple months away from giving birth. I'm nervous, anxious and somewhat scared - not of giving birth surprisingly - but scared about how drastic my life is going to change. I know I'll be a good mother, hell, I'll be the best mother I could ever imagine... but I also have to decide what kind of life I want my child to grow accustom to. Billy grew up in this life... I didn't... I don't know if I want my child to have a life that it's father had.

Not saying Billy will be anything like Bones was, but... when I think about it, Billy has become Bones. He took Bones place after he fucking killed Bones - taking all of Bones 'responsibilities' and business (including his drug selling on the side).

I already know I'll do whatever I have to do to protect my child and give my child the best life that they deserve... even if that means telling Billy that enough is enough and he has to give up the life that he has. Sadly, I know he will never do just that... So... The thought of leaving and starting new without Billy has crossed my mind more than once. I just don't know... maybe it's the hormones talking but holy shit, reality is setting in... we're about to bring a child into a world that's already messed up for the two of us.

"He made me toss his fucking salad." Christy gagged.

"What?!" I exclaimed at a loss of words, "You didn't... Christy that's fucking gross."

"I made him like scrub himself first..."

"That's...man what the fuck." I said before busting out into laughter.

Christy joined in on my fit of laughter and snorted before being able to speak, "Heco is into some weird shit dude."

"Sounds like it." I giggled.

We both laughed until we were almost crying and to the point where I almost peed. When we were done laughing about Christy and Heco's fucked up sexual life, we both sighed at the same time and clamed down.

"Can you just come over?" I begged holding my cellphone with my shoulder and my cheek as I folded baby clothes, "I don't want to do this myself."

"Where's Billy?" Christy asked, exhaling smoke on the other end of the phone.

Smiling, I put the rolled baby socks in the drawer and exhaled a shaky breathe, "Who knows."

"Well what the hell? He doesn't sell anymore, he's got Bodie, Baggy, Jamie, Heco, Dog, Jack, fuck I could go on with the list of people he has to sell for him now that he's got new guys cooking drugs... what does he even do this late? It's like two." Christy trailed off.

"Exactly my point... Don't know and I don't want to know." I murmured, suddenly feeling down.

"Well, it's not like he's out fucking someone."

"How do you know?" I questioned in a snappy tone.

Christy giggled, "Guys who cheat on their girlfriends don't buy them pretty rocks like the one on your finger, baby."

"I beg to differ.." I mumbled, staring down at my engagement ring.

"Kay Debby Downer..." Christy sighed, "Can I go to bed now?"

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