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"Oh my god..." Julie rolled off Alex's body and fell back onto his mattress, pulling the sheets up to cover herself, as though there was any need to do so. "That was... even better than I remembered it."
Alex was staring up at the ceiling, not saying a word.
Turning on her side and propping herself up to get a good look at his face, she said, "Was it not for you? Are you regretting this? Already?"
"That's not the right word for it," he shook his head. After a beat, he turned her way and added, "This was amazing and I know you know that. It's just that you have a..."
"Shawn," Julie sighed, rolling her eyes.
"Yeah," he nodded. "You have a Shawn. I'm your mistress right now."
"Alex, that's not..." she began, but she didn't know where she was going with it, so she stopped. "This isn't the sexy pillow talk I was hoping for."
"What were you actually hoping for?" he asked. "Out of nothing but curiosity."
"I don't know," she said, lying on her back once again and staring at the ceiling along with him. "That when I said that was better than I remembered it, you'd say the same thing back, then you'd ask if I wanted to go again, I'd make some joke comparing your libido to that of a lion, you'd get super cocky and that confidence would power you through at least two more rounds and then we'd just... figure out the rest after."
She turned to him again and saw that he was smiling.
"Are you thinking about the lion thing?" she asked.
"No," he laughed. "Well, now I am a little and thank you but... The sex was great. It's just the part that I really liked that I'm not sure if you really did was the other part."
"What other part?"
He began to sit up so she did the same, meeting him at his level as he said, "You told me that you loved me. Over and over again. And it felt like everything was okay again. But it's not. You're with Shawn. Our relationship is still very screwed up. And... Amazing sex and words you may have said just to get the amazing sex won't fix that."
"Alex, I didn't say them just for that. I meant them. I've never stopped feeling the way I feel about you. That's why I was coming after you the way I was. I was so frustrated about loving you and not getting to be with you anymore and just... being so scared that you'd eventually erase me that I... I didn't want that to happen. And I thought if I'm your constant enemy then you won't ever get to leave me behind. Even if I'm only around in a bad way."
Alex pulled the sheets off of himself and then got up.
"Where are you going?" Julie asked, wrapping the sheets around herself and getting up.
