Chapter 19 - Destiny’s POV
I don’t know how to react to this. The first step to my confusion was when Cam told me he loved me. I mean, I appreciate being loved by someone, but considering I just met him about a week ago seemed a little clingy. Too soon.
I mean, part of that was my fault too. I should’ve told him about Caleb. Then maybe he wouldn’t get attached so quickly.
When he asked if I loved him back, I didn’t know what to say. Instead, I said I had to finish up my homework and that we’d talk later. Only then, I got a call from Caleb.
As soon as he told me it was him, I was still slightly annoyed with him from lack of communication and him possibly cheating on me. Therefore, I spoke bitterly to him.
I was right when I suspected the cheating. It was pretty obvious. Even though it wasn’t with Melody, I was correct. Though the image of his slutty girlfriend burned my eyes. Shuddering at the thought, I realized she looked pretty similar to Rebekka in my dream. Her profile picture revealed a blonde girl with the shortest shorts I’ve ever seen and a low cut tank top, leaning against a wall. Her index finger touching her bottom lip and the way her eyes were narrowed showed her attempt at being seductive. She had her face caked with makeup as well, adding to her desperate need for a guy. Maybe if she wore normal clothes and removed the makeup, she’d be pretty. It’s hard to tell with the Barbie wannabe look.
When Caleb admitted he was cheating on me, I finalized it. I was done with him. It hurt finding out one of my best friends played with someone’s heart like that. My heart. This isn’t the Caleb I fell in love with. Something changed about him and I didn’t like it.
No matter how badly I wanted to stay with him, I couldn’t give him another chance. When you’ve lost someone trust, it’s really hard to earn it back. I don’t think I could ever trust him again.
Knowing Caleb for the longest time, loving him, and finally having your friendship turned into something more, you can’t just move on and forget. It takes awhile to accept you don’t have feelings for him anymore and you can’t look back. That’s why we have eyes on the front of our head, so we can only look forward; never back.
No matter how much I wanted to forget this whole thing, I couldn't. I could just simply learn from it. Things happen for a reason.
I also learned this too. Don’t blame yourself. I can’t put the blame on me for us splitting. I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the one who tried to make an effort. I’m the one who wanted to stay faithful to this. I’m the one who loved him with all my heart. I’m the one who was worried about him. I’m the one who cared. But he lost me. I shouldn’t regret this either. Instead, I need to stay positive. He had his chance, his loss. I shouldn’t think I wasn’t good enough for him. If it ends, it ends. Never go back and try to rekindle an old flame. It would result in a roller coaster of together, apart, together, apart. Long distance might not ALWAYS work. But it could when we’re older. Maybe one day we should give it another go.
But after I shed a few tears, I realized a huge weight had left. I felt free. I wasn’t even sad that our relationship ended! All the worries, missing him, hoping he wouldn’t like anyone, the guilt of not telling my parents, everything. It all went away. I feel better than before. I feel stress-free and relieved. No, I’m not heartless. It just feels like that relationship had more cons than pros.
I thought I’d be sobbing and whimpering by now. I thought I would want the earth to swallow me alive. I thought I’d be a mess.
Instead, I’m smiling. Sure it hurt, but this feeling I had made me feel so much better.
I sighed happily and drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
