Born to be a slave.

48

Few horses by the Wiltshire's stables enjoyed the little freedom, that James have given them. I was so happy coming to this part of Edmund's property.

 A small basket in my hands hold a meal, which Fiona have made with great care for her husband. She have sent me here, knowing I need some time out of the main house to enjoy freedom.

Some of the stallions standing on the dirt road looked freshly groomed, beautiful, with coats shining in the bright sunlit patch, near an entrance of horse stalls. 

"James? James!" I called out.

He didn't answer, but moments later I saw him emerge. He hold a brush in his hand and a fabric of his shirt was wet. 

"Oh. What brings you here, Thea?"

"I have got food for you." I swayed a basket in front of his face.

"Thanks! Just in time. I am hungry beyond belief." 

I looked around, but no one else was here, only James. Everything was calm and quiet, only few chirps and yells from various animals echoed through the barn and stables.

"I haven't seen Harry for some time.... Is he well?"

"Aghh... Not quite. He is busy taking Edmund and his ladies to the town every day. Harry hardly has a time to rest. He is not so young anymore." James took a bite into a freshly baked bun.

"Poor, old man."

"Yeah. He might quit soon."

I felt sorry for him. He truly was getting old for the job of being a coachman.

"Thea?" James eyed me for a moment with his mouth stuffed. "Why are you not wearing your nice dress Edmund got for you?"

I looked at my outfit. It was the same old, torn dress I have used all my previous years, when working under an eye of Martha.

"For what? To show off in front of horses? In fact, I came to spend all day here, helping you..... if you need a hand, of course."

"That would be great! I am very busy."

"What's in store for me then?"

"Uhmmm...., I need to groom the last horse, feed animals, tidy up everything after that and a lot more."

"I am on my way." I felt too eager to get my hands on tasks and animals.

"You go and get Storm. He is the last remaining."

"OK."

Turning around a corner, I saw his huge head poking out. I was so happy to see him. He looked calm, his black eyes glimmered in the shadows. I can't remember the last time, I have seen him in his usual mood. There is nothing left of his former behavior. No tantrums, no crazy jumps or any kind of misbehaving. I could say, he is safe, that even a child could ride him.

I lead him out of his stall and started to brush his black coat. Some of the hair have started to loose the vibrant color, getting pale and grey. He was getting old. I felt so calm next to him and relaxed. Who would have thought, that this crazy animal could pull out these feelings from a human being. All I know, he have always frightened people.

It have taken more time to groom Storm, that it would be done by James. He was gone somewhere for more than an hour.

In a meantime, I will finish feeding animals and will clean everything.

***

James was tucking up horses and I wondered, why or for who?

"Is there something going on?"

"Yeah! Our lord will have a picnic by the big oak forest with his ladies. I am just getting ready. I heard Maria doesn't like to wait."

"Oh. So you groomed them for their ride?"

"Yeah."

I haven't interacted with Edmund  for a long time. I hope to avoid him, if he arrives here. I will feel bad. Just thinking about him, makes my heart hurt. In some way I miss his presence. 

Why he left me so suddenly? Without a warning or any explanation.

I have gone over a pen of sheep. The young lambs from early spring time have grown up and don't look so small anymore. I can barely carry one at the time.

One of them is in my hands and I carry it outside, to let him join the flock of older ones. He is soft and warm. I feel his limbs wiggle.

"I will take you to your mommy, my love." I squeeze it's body against mine and give a soft kiss on it's woolly head. My heart is filled with warmth and happiness  towards this adorable tiny baby. "I love you so much." I squeeze him harder in my arms.

"Haha.... See! I told you she will find her love."

My heart stopped hearing the voice of Maria. As I turned to face them, I saw her friends and Edmund too. Girls looked very excited, but Edmund hold his usual, uncaring appearance. We stood in silence eyeing each other. I felt my heart suffocating under his gaze, which showed nothing, like he have never known me. I turned away, holding my lamb close to my chest, as if it would escape my arms at any moment.

I should feel nothing.... I wanted to feel nothing, but all that cling to me was hurt and a sense of being forgotten. My only thought was to get away from this awkward and unpleasant encounter.

"Thea, what are you wearing?"

Ohh, how I wished to have never heard his voice. It was stirring up my buried emotions.

"It is for ... work..."

In Edmund's face I saw a glimmer of dissatisfaction. He didn't like me wearing clothes like this. My Master must think I am dirty.

"Edmund, let her wear whatever she likes." Said Maria. "I am so excited. Oh... Look at these horses. I will choose first."

I let them pass and went with my lamb to let it free from my suffocating hold. I wanted to not be near these people at all. Everything I have been through with them, is bringing back hurtful memories.

"I will take the black horse. It is so beautiful and strong." Maria chirped like a bird in Edmund's ear.

I was surprised that Edmund have never warned her about Storm, his unpredictability and wild behavior. But from other hand, I think nothing could go wrong. Storm is older and calmer. Maria will be fine.

I was heading back into the stall to finish my work. A feeling of Edmund's eyes on me, was unsettling. There was a tiny bit of frustration in his features. Probably for me, as I walk around him in such look.