Born to be a slave.

18

After Edmund left me, I stood in the middle of his room for a few hours. It was a strange feeling. It felt like I had been turned off for eternity. All the emotions I experienced were still boiling in me like freshly erupted lava, which most likely was so strong, that it made me disconnect with the real world. 

It hurt me so much, that he even didn't try to hear my side of the story. Just assumed everything Carla said was true. Maybe he trusted her more than me? After all, she had been in his household for many years and had proven herself to be reliable. Me on the other hand ... Just more than a month had passed, maybe two, since I had arrived here. I was a slave and I understood that someone of higher ranks would not bother to take my thoughts into consideration. What did I expect? That Edmund will protect me from another unfair treatment? I had forgotten how bad my life was before and compared to that, this should be nothing, I should feel no different than all those other times my previous masters punished me or accused me of things I might have not done. But this time I felt different. Edmund was somebody who treated me differently like I was a human being like I mattered, just a little bit. And it made me feel worse now, that he switched to the typical noble man's actions. 

I didn't know why I felt this way about him. I didn't want to see him mad and angry, sad and lonely. I wanted him to be happy - a side of Edmund I had never seen. Maybe only a tiny glimpse, ... in his garden, but even then I was not sure what was it, what he really felt.

I could not stop crying, even after so many hours. My eyes were sore and my cheeks had started to burn slightly of all the wiping and bruising I had made with my hands. My eyes fell on the spot I had been sleeping on for many nights. The animal hide had been tossed to the other side of the room. I had learned that it was a skin of a bear. I felt sorry for this innocent animal, but it gave me comfort on all these nights spent here. It was warm and soft. I often caught myself combing the course brown hair with my fingers every night before I drifted to sleep. It calmed me and strangely it was the only thing that felt as it belonged to me in some way. It was so insignificant in other's eyes - Edmund's, servants, his parents, but for me, it meant something, something I could not describe yet.

Now my sleeping place was empty. It looked no different then rest of the room. Black and cold floor was all that's left of my bed. 

I felt very tired and decided to sleep in the same place I was shown on my first day. I had no other place. Edmund's bed looked more than inviting, but I would never ever think of sleeping in it. It was a place forever to be forbidden in my eyes.

I curled up into a ball and tried to warm myself up. The floor was cold and hard and I could feel my body starting to ache in some places. It was uncomfortable.

***

A faint sound of door closing came from a distance and soft footsteps neared my location. I could not understand, was it a dream or reality? I was cold and no matter how much I tried to warm myself up with my own hands wrapped around, nothing worked. Maybe lack of food tonight made it worse.

A bed dipped in and I knew Edmund had returned. He didn't say anything. I could only hear his light breathing. 

My eyes started to water again remembering today's events. I couldn't stop the urge to sniff and quietly whimper. 

"I didn't steal. I didn't steal them...." I mumbled quietly, but words could not be distinguished under my breath. I chanted them over and over again between my sobs.

"Where did you find them?" Edmund asked in a calm, hushed voice.

I did not answer, the lump in my throat could not be harder to swallow.

"I was thinking.... I remember I lost them very long time ago, that I have almost forgotten how they looked like. ... They are very precious. Very valuable. These earrings have more value than just a few coins. They belonged to my grand grandmother. She loved them. Every day she used to brag, how important they are, but.... she forgot to tell me what was it. Well... there is no way of knowing it now. She also said they have been passed down to many generations, to daughters or wives of her family. ...  No daughters, no wives now... Only me. Why would I need them? Hmm! My mother..... Why she didn't receive them?"

My master stopped talking and the rest of the night went on in silence. I drifted back to sleep. I just wanted to forget this day along with hurt I felt in my heart.

***

I woke up and felt sore in my limbs. I could barely move and curl out of the ball I was in the whole night. I sensed a heaviness on my shoulders and I wondered what it might be. My eyes were still shut tight. It definitely was warm and silky. I did not feel the cold, as it was biting on my skin last night.

At the moment I opened my eyes, I felt something in my hands. It was pinching my skin lightly as I have squeezed the bits in my palms while I slept.  

I thought this was another dream or a nightmare invading my mind after the experiences of yesterday. 

Shining brightly in my palms laid earrings I found under Edmund's bed. Was it real? How did I get them? An urge to drop them straight away was overwhelming, but then... I did not have them when I fell asleep. Edmund was talking about these jewels. He had them and now they were in my hands. What was the meaning of this? Why....? 

I lifted my body up and the weight on my shoulders fell off. I saw a duvet on the floor covering my body. It was not mine or any other person's, but Edmund's. 

Maybe it had fallen off from his bed? Must be it... And earrings? What about them? Why they were back in my hands?