Born to be a slave.

47

  I have polished the floor of Edmund's bathroom, folded his towels and dusted everything else I could set my eyes on. His bedroom was cleaned spotless too. I have been bored lately and desperately searched for more work to do. 

Edmund haven't been in his own room for many days. I have lost count already. It is only me here now. Even his scent of mint have slowly disappeared from his clothes and covers. 

After that awful night, my Master have become quite distant. We barely see each other. I see him spending more time with Maria, going out to parties and events, spending so much time out of the walls of this house. Edmund have neglected everything and everyone except his fiance. 

I don't know, what have made him change just in few days. I only know, what he thinks of me, what I am to him and have always been. 

Other day, while passing by the room, where Maria sleeps, I heard them talk. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but the door of her room was not fully closed. I heard a part, where Edmund explained my place to her. He said, I am only his slave and nothing else. No other relations to him, just purely owner and servant's relationship. 

Before I have never been taking a deeper look  in to our interactions over the years. It have stayed in back of my mind like insignificant thing, but now it have started to bother me. I view him as my owner, Master, my caretaker. And now I know, what else he have been to me - a friend, if I could call it like that. He was the first person in my life, who didn't look at me as on a worthless being. Well, at least, that's, what I have always felt. Now I see, I have not taken the same spot in his life - I have been only a simple slave to him.

Now I feel so alone... Edmund acts, as I don't exist anymore. He even haven't entrusted me with any work, to at least, feel useful in some sense. I am here, just like a ghost, forgotten by everyone. 

I wander down the stairs, through the main hall and deeper in to the inner garden. This summer days are specially bright and sunny, so full with happiness and joy, that's what should be felt, when catching the rays of the sun. But I feel quite opposite - sad and lonely. 

I see Fiona slowly walking from the servants quarters in my way. Her eyes set hard on me and her walk filled with confidence. She looks different, not by the outer appearance, but by the way she carries herself.

I smile at her, but she doesn't return her smile back. Fiona is dead serious.

"Thea. Why are you here, doing nothing? Don't you know your place?" She said arrogantly.

I didn't know what to say back. Was it even Fiona I know?

"Haha... Sorry, Thea! I didn't want to scare you. I am just joking, joking!" She rubbed my arm in soothing way. "You got so pale just now. Did I make you feel so bad?"

"No. No. I am fine, I .... you just were...."

"Not myself, right? I know, because I no longer am."

She pulled something out from the side of her belt. 

"Look, what I have got!" She sang cheerfully.

"Keys? Aren't those the keys of the house?" She jingled two sets of them in front of my face.

"They are! And you are looking at the new housemaid, Thea. Are you happy? I am happy! My Lord finally decided to get one and he chose me, from all the women in the world. How amazing is that?"

I smiled, but I didn't know, whether to be happy or sad.

"Thea, what's the matter?" Her smile faded away.

"I just.... I don't know... I feel so bad..." I felt tears escape my eyes.

"Come on, tell me everything you have got. What is hurting you?"

I sat on a bench behind me and Fiona joined, her kind eyes watching me sympathetically.

"I feel so lonely, Fiona. I haven't seen Edmund for days, he doesn't talk to me anymore....  I have nothing to do either. And he.....he said I mean nothing to him." I spilled all my tears out. "It hurts so much, here, inside of me..."

"Well.... isn't it your first heartbreak?" I guess, she tried to lighten the mood, but it didn't work. "Now come and cry it all out, you need to get free of these feelings. Cry my girl...." 

Fiona pulled me in to a tight hug. Her embrace felt so comforting, but it couldn't  stop the bitter feeling in my heart. I felt so forgotten, forgotten by a person, who have been the whole support of my world.

"You said, you have nothing to do.... Do you want to give us a helping hand? I promise, it will make you feel better. Work will occupy your mind and you will be all fine...."

"Ok..... I am dying of boredom." I managed to squeeze a smile.

I followed her to the servants house. Fiona looked so happy about her new position. I felt so proud about her. She have been working hard all the time. It is good, that someone have recognized her dedicated work over the years.

"It will be some time, until I get to a level of Adele. I am not so knowledgeable, but Lordship have hired a person to teach me all the necessary information needed for new work duties."

"You will be the best, that have 'ruled' this house, Fiona."

"I hope. Your words to god's ears. I hope he hears you."

"What I will be doing?"

"Oh. I know. Nicolas is in the big garden cutting flowers. You could go and help him. Help him arrange them too."

"I am on my way, ma'am."

"I like the way it sounds." She disappeared with her chin raised up in the sky. 

She was so full of herself, that it made me laugh.