He's back // Negan x Reader

Chapter 28 // Recovery

I knew it didn't seem like much, what happened with John, but being forced to do anything is horrible; especially when it's something you're supposed to share with someone special.

I shot up in bed and held my head tightly, I clenched my jaw and huffed; sounding as if I was going to cry. I looked around, I was still in my room but I hated it. There was a lingering feeling that he was outside my door waiting for me, ready to hold me down. I crossed my legs, and held myself, bending over; with bad posture. I tried to focus on keeping my breathing regular, using it as a method to keep myself crying.

I felt like I couldn't relax, or sleep. The constant thought of him, what he did and what he could have; if Negan didn't come. I felt a cold breeze hit my bare arms, I held onto myself tighter and layed back down; burying myself in the blanket. I stayed away that night, contemplating everything.

When it was morning, I heard people moving around. I didn't understand how they could or why they did, but I stayed in bed. I didn't want to leave, I didn't want to go past where it all took place, I didn't want to see anyone.

Negan's POV

It was a while after everyone started working; I walked down from my room, and to Y/N's. I stood infront of her door, holding the door knob with the other hand on the door. I closed my eyes for a second and took a deep breath in. I knocked on the door, no answer. I knocked again and spoke, "Y/N, I'm going to come in" I twisted the door knob and slowly opened the door.

I walked in, and shut the door behind me to see her curled up in her bed, staring into no where. I felt guilty for it, I felt as if I could have stopped it all together, but I didn't. I walked over to her and kneeled by her bed so I could look at her on eye level. "Hey, we've got to go somewhere, I need you to get changed," I told her and she moved her eyes to me, "it's outside the Sanctuary" I heard her sigh, and I helped her up when she tried to.

When she was choosing what to wear, she sat on her bed and I picked up random clothing. In the end, she decided to wear a dark grey short sleeved top, black jeans and the blue jumper she left in my room. "Tell me when I can come bac-" I started. "You can stay," she shrugged. I nodded, and stood to the side, trying not to watch her change. I knew it wasn't much since I've already seen her naked before, but it wasn't the right time.

After she finished changing, I slipped on some trainers for her and we walked out of her room. I stood close to her, without holding her, so she wasn't able to see the wall where it all took place. We walked downstairs, and to the gate. "Open up - just us two, no one else," he nodded and opened them up for us.

We walked out together, and heard the gates shut behind us.

Y/N's POV

We walked further into the woods near by, and I felt him move to hold my hand. I put my head down to have a look, and held his hand back. We kept walking for a while, until we got to an area where the trees were in an uneven circle. The grass was a deep green, and it was almost as if the apocalypse didn't happen.

"Why are we here?" I asked, lightly. "Well, I thought after everything, it was probably best to get away from everything and relax out here," he squeezed my hand. I nodded and we sat down on the grass together.

Time Skip - A Week

It's been a week since we've been coming out here, it's been nice and neither of us have joined the others on the runs. I'm still not sure about it, but Negan wouldn't even listen to me trying to convince him otherwise.

"I never asked you, but, how did you find this place?" I asked. He shrugged, "I just went where I thought was good last week, and I found this place" I nodded, and looked up, through the leaves and at the sky. I sighed, "We should probably go back, you know" he looked over at me, and I looked back, then he shook his head. "No, we can stay out a bit longer if you want," he told me. "What about the checks and stuf-" "It can wait, it's not as important" he hugged me for a while, before letting go. I smiled to myself, lightly.

Time Skip - A Week

We were walking out to the little place in the woods, while I hugged his arm and he held my hand. It was definitely different, since that incident. I wasn't over it completely yet either, I still had it on play in my mind sometimes, but it was gradually going down. I was more surprised about how it made Negan act. He made sure I was comfortable with what he did, he was careful about what he said, we still haven't been on any runs either and we haven't fucked since before what he did. It made me feel good, it also helped with the strange nightmare that came back from years ago; it was pretty much gone.

Time Skip - A Week

It's been around 3 weeks, and I've really started to pull myself together. We went out to our place a little less, and we stayed in the Sanctuary; a few hours he got really busy and I had to assure him he could leave me by myself.

I was sitting in the Cafe, by myself, when Jenni came by. She cleared her throat awkwardly, "Hey... Y/N" I looked over, and immediately thought of that evening. "I- ... Um- I'm going to g-" "No- wait, um, I need to apologise, I heard what happened... and I should have trusted you. I hope you're okay, um... I'll leave" she then scurried away, before I could even process what she said properly. I watched her leave and swallowed back hard, trying to ignore what thoughts and images were coming up in my mind.

Time Skip - A Week

I was sitting on Negan's bed, my knees up and over his legs that were over the bed side. He leant back, and holding himself up with his arms propped on the bed; while I loosely hugged my knees.

He moved his hand and put some hair behind the ear closest to him. "You should never have anything infront of your face, you know," he told me. I smiled to myself, "Why?" "Its gets in the way when I want to admire what a living goddess looks like," he smirked. I put my head down and smiled like a mad man.

He then sat up and pulled all my hair back, behind my shoulders. He held my chin and made me look at him. "I wasn't finished," he smiled. We looked at eachother for a while, and I couldn't help myself. It had been so long, and it felt although he was helping me in every way he could but I had nothing to give him back.

So, I just kissed him. I felt him move back from shock, but he came back and kissed me.

Time Skip - A Week

We were sitting in our place, outside the Sanctuary.

"It's been over a month, I'm surprised, I've seen people never come back from it," he told me. I nodded, "Well, I had great support..." I looked up at him for a second and back down. "Ahhh, I wonder who that was," he smiled widely, and hugged me to the ground. We layed there, facing eachother. His arms were wrapped around me, and my hands were on his chest. "You've changed too, you know, Negan," I told him. "Have I?" I nodded, "You're more lovey - and I mean, we haven't even fucked for over a month, its pretty weird-" "well, it's not weird when you're looking after someone you love..." he looked to the side awkwardly, but then back at me and smiled.

A/N: I hope you don't mind the different structure for this chapter, I just felt like it worked better to give almost like an overall view of Y/N's recovery after John :) it is slightly longer (I usually aim for around the 1000 words mark, but this is closer to 1500) so sorry if you prefer the chapters a bit shorter but I hope you liked it anyway