Bleeding Out » Stiles Stilinski [book 5]

[25] Do You Remember the First Time?

❝ Though we're tethered to the story we must tellWhen I saw you, well I knew we'd tell it well..❞

Savannah's point of view:

"Come on, wake up! Wake up!" I kept yelling to myself which didn't make much sense. I was having some sort of ghostly out of body experience. I watched myself laid on a bed in Eichen House, completely comatose like. God, how did they even get me here? Either way, I wasn't giving up.

I would never give up.

If I did, I would never be with Stiles again. I wouldn't be able to warn them of the dangers that are coming. I wasn't going to give up, I was never going to give up. I just had to keep trying, to keep breaking through. Something had to work, anything. I turned my head, hearing someone walking into the room. And when I saw who it was, my face instantly lighted up.

"Derek!" I yelled, trying to run to him to hug him but I completely phased through him. I groaned in frustration, completely forgetting one second that no one could hear me or see me. As far as anyone knows I'm still comatose in a medical bed in Eichen. Literally could get worse but I'm not even gonna ask how cause that'll cause a chain reaction for worse things to come.

I sighed to myself, walking to stand besides Derek, watching him watching me in the bed.

"I-ummm..I came as soon as I heard. Sorry it took so long..Ummm..It's gonna be okay." Derek said, slowly grabbing my hand and squeezing it. It broke my heart to see him like that. Heartbroken, thinking he was going to lose me again. Oh god, it just occurred to me that me and Derek kissed. Slept together. Oh god, I think I might have just thrown up a little. It's not like there's anything wrong with Derek, I regret nothing even with knowing everything but..it's Derek. We're like family to each other. Well, that's another awkward conversation when I finally come two.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for..this is all on me.." I sighed, placing my hand on his shoulder but knowing that he couldn't tell I was there.

Derek just stared at my body, rubbing circles into my hand. "The doctors say it's amazing in just two short weeks, your spine and other fractures are almost completely healed as well. Hopefully when your body is all healed, it'll snap you out of this.."

I sighed, wanting nothing more than for Derek to hear me. "Derek, I'm right here. Come on, just focus. Listen to my voice. You know me, you really know me almost better than anyone. Come on, you have to hear me."

"I should have never left..I-I didn't mean to." Derek sighed as I watched him brush some hair out of my face and stare into my eyes.

I shook my head, feeling tears forming in my eyes. "Y-you don't have to be here, Derek.." I sighed, feeling my voice get caught in my throat. "Derek, I know..I know better than anyone that you're finally moving on with your life, you're finally having happiness again..No one deserves it more than you after everything..I-I don't want to be the reason you stop. I-you shouldn't have come back. You were finally gone, done with all this.."

I don't know what the point is, it's not like Derek can hear me. Even if he could, I knew he wouldn't leave anyways. Derek has this sense of loyalty, an annoying sense since he's always putting other's above himself.

"As soon as Scott called me, I knew I had to drop everything to come back. I know if you were here you'd call it a sense of duty, or loyalty or whatever.." Derek said, rubbing circles into my hand while I just stared at him sadly. "But it's more than that.." I looked over at Derek, crouching down next to him. God, I wish he could hear me right now. I never meant to hurt him, and I never imagined he'd end up being so important to me. That Derek Hale of all people would end up being like my family. "I know we're not going to end up together and I'm okay with that.. But you've become dear to me in a way that no one has been since P-..since I don't know how long. I've just had this huge hole in my heart for so long now..I never thought..-dreamed that anyone would be able to fill it. Let alone you. I tried denying it for a long time now, I tried focusing on how you frustrated me, annoyed me to no end, how selfish and idiotic you were after finding out everything..But I was wrong. Your spirit is so beautiful, brave, strong and you're so fierce in everything. Now that I see that clearly and stopped trying to deny it, I know now that I can't imagine a life without you."