Crowned Wolf (Original)(Completed)

Forty-Six

 Karmen finishes putting food on the dining table just in time for all of the Moore wolves to enter with starving bellies. She watches in the corner with Carter close by as they fall into their seats, grumbling and mumbling incoherent greetings and slowly fill their plates up. Most pick at the food, taking a few bites here and there. Only the younger ones who didn't really understand what was happening ate their meals with vigor. 

She returns to the kitchen with Carter on her trail. The Kappa's head guard had been following her all day while Leon did beta duties and while she misses him, she doesn't want to bother him. She can't find it in herself to.

Karmen's never dealt with death before - not personally anyways. She's seen others die and she has killed to protect others before. In those ways, death is no stranger to her. But she's never experienced the death of a close friend or relative. Very few times do Moore wolves die in war. They've been trained so much and are so skilled that it's hard for someone to get a good hit on them but Audrey didn't originate with them. She was brought into the pack through a mating bond and she helped strengthen the pack but she didn't strengthen herself like the rest of them would've in her position. She still doesn't believe that her first friend in a long time is gone. The news is hard to accept and it makes everything feel numb.

Unlike being rejected by her true mate, this numbness has a sick feeling to it. Rejection made her feel empty. It made her feel like there is nothing in life for her to feel. Leon made it easier to manage. He always brought out her frustration and confusion and anger and then the attack happened and things changed. Fear, surprise, nervousness and then the beginnings of a light love filled her and Leon caused most of it. But this numbness makes her feel full. It makes eating feel redundant. It makes doing normal things like cooking or cleaning feel irresponsible. How can she just stand here and do all of these chores when Audrey died and her murderers are still out there walking? How can she be expected to continue making food for the entire pack when there are so many enemies they need to deal with? There are so many things that need to be done and yet, she's still cleaning the dishes. And Audrey still isn't coming in to check on her.

"Why don't you take a break?" Carter suggests nearby. Karmen flinches. Audrey used to ask her those kinds of questions.

Why don't you relax for a bit? Why don't you let me help? Why don't you just sit down and breathe?

"I'm fine." She argues, shaking her head while giving Carter a small smile. Despite how much she wants to stop and put her energy to good use, she knows there isn't much she can do. The Kappa put everyone on lock down and told them all to take the day to mourn. And she can't do much except map out territories and cook and clean. She can try to trace the intruder's movement and see if there's a single starting point to perhaps pinpoint R's location but no matter what she tries, the patterns are all random.

Cadance is watching over Darren. Their little brother hasn't been able to go to sleep and every time he manages to pass out, he wakes up with a scream and then starts calling out for the Luna. The only one who seems to be able to truly comfort him is Leon and the Kappa. The Kappa is too busy to spend the entire time with him but he did stay with the kid for the first two times he tried to sleep. He ended up carrying Darren around while he continued his duties and Darren slept on his shoulder. But then the Kappa needed to have a private meeting and Cadance looked over Darren. Leon popped in once and helped soothe him to sleep before Millis called him out. But since then, the poor kid can't sleep longer than twenty minutes without scaring himself awake.

Karmen feels herself getting sicker. If Audrey was here, despite the attack and how hurt everyone might have gotten, her presence would be enough to comfort and strengthen them. She would be able to reassure the kids and the elders and offer support for everyone else. Her presence alone would be inspiring enough for the pack to focus their attention on the situation alone. But she's not here and her death leaves a terrible hole in the middle of the pack life. Even functions such as dinner is hard to get through.