strong || n.h. (COMPLETED)

{12} realizations

Ariana's POV

I woke up the next morning at 9 am and checked my phone. I had a text from Austin.

From Austin:

Come to my flat again tomorrow afternoon at 12 ;)

I checked when it was sent to see he sent it last night at 11.

I texted back quickly.

To Austin:

Sorry I didn't reply. I was sleeping. I'll come if it's still alright with you :)

I got ready in the bathroom then changed into dark wash jeans and a white sweater and brown Uggs. I started to walk out when I realized Sarah and Louis had their date last night. So I decided to call Sarah.

"Hey girl! How was it?"

"Amazing! Guess who has a boyfriend now?"

"No freaking way!" I yelled.

"Yes! We went to pizza and had a great time just joking around and laughing! And then we walked to the movie theater and his hand brushed mine and he was trying to hold hands with me!" She gushed.

"Oh my gosh that's adorable!"

"And then we saw the movie and we were cuddled up the whole time!"

"Awwww!"

"And then he walked me back to my flat and guess what he did."

"Oh my gosh no way..."

"Yes way! He kissed me and asked me to be his girlfriend!"

Oh my gosh congratulations! You guys will be the cutest couple ever!" I gushed along with her.

"I'm so excited!" She yelled

I heard her mom scream in the background.

"Oops. Gotta run. See you later!

"Bye!" I said.

I walked out my door and saw Louis in the kitchen. I jumped onto his back.

"Louis you are a girl genius! She told me everything over the phone and I could practically see her blushing through the phone!" I teased.

"I couldn't do it without you Ari!" He said and hugged me. I pulled out some cereal and poured a bowl from myself. I sat myself on the couch next to Harry who was watching tv.

"Where's Niall?" I whispered to Harry.

"His room." He said. I thought he was hiding something but I wasn't sure so I shook it off.

Once I finished my breakfast I put the bowl in the dishwasher then looked at the clock. It was 11:45 so I decided to head to Austin's even though I'll be 10 minutes early. I walked down some halls and approached his door. I knocked and there was no answer. After 5 minutes of knocking, I started to get worried. So I let myself in and walked into the living room.

I wish I didn't do that.

There was Austin. Making out with a picture perfect Barbie girl or whatever, on his couch. Tears started pouring out of my eyes.

"A-Austin?" I stuttered, finally getting him and this girls attention.

"Oh hey Ariana." He said and I could feel the awkwardness in the room.

"What are you doing..." I asked, still crying.

"Making out with his girlfriend. And who are you?" The girl said with a voice I couldn't stand. She was perfect. I can tell why Austin would want her over me. I started crying harder.

"G-girlfriend?..." I looked straight into Austin's eyes and he didn't look away.

"Yeah... Sorry but, we're over Ariana. Brittany is way better then you."

My heart dropped into my stomach. That stung. No guy has the decency to say that.

"You beat me to it... I thought you were better then this." I said, I was practically sobbing now as I ran out of the room, sprinting towards the boys' flat.

I barged in the room and Harry and Niall were sitting on the couch. Both of their heads turned to me.

"Ariana what happened?" Harry said walking over to me.

"Oh nothing. Go ask Brittany. Apparently she's a better girlfriend then I am." I said then ran into my room. I shut the door behind me then ran to my bed and sobbed into a pillow.

I'm not perfect. I never will be. And I'm not for Austin, and I won't be for Niall. I won't be perfect for anyone. So why even be here?

I've had suicidal thoughts before. But never this bad. I had a voice on my right shoulder telling me to do it. And one on my left telling me not to. I didn't know what to do anymore. Then there was a knock on the door.

"W-who is it?" I said in a small voice.

"Niall..." I heard a voice say. I froze. I didn't know what to do.

"C-come in." I decided to say, and he walked in. He walked through the door and immediately ran over to my bed and hugged me tight.

"What happened?" He whispered to my ear. I took a few deep breaths, until I was ready to talk. I couldn't look Niall in the eye. I looked down at my hands and started talking.

"I walked in to Austin's flat to see..." I stopped feeling a lump in my throat again. Niall rubbed circles on my back and waited for me to continue.

"He was making out with another girl." I said and took another deep breath.

"It was his other girlfriend..." I continued, "and he didn't even feel bad at all. He just told me she was so much better then I was and we were over." I said giving up and sobbing again. I buried my head into his shoulder.

"He doesn't deserve you." Niall whispered to me and shivers ran down my back.

"I'll never be good enough." My voice cracked.

"But Ariana you are. Maybe not for him, but for me you are." I look up at him with my red, puffy eyes and my crying stopped. Did he really say that?

"Niall I-I" I started but was interrupted.

"Ariana I really like you." He whispered into my ear.

I stared at him with wide eyes. Suddenly his hands weren't around me anymore and I felt a shiver from the lack of comfort. I looked over to see his head buried in his hands.

"Why did I freaking have to say that and ruin everything?" He said to himself.

"Niall stop.. you didn't ruin anything!" I said, bringing my hand to his arm.

He looked up at me and I did the only thing I could think to do.

I kissed him and I didn't let go.

I wrapped my arm around his neck hoping he would kiss back. And then I felt a pair of warm hands around my waist, and his lips moving in sync with mine, kissing back.

This is what I want.

Not Austin.

Not anyone else.

I want Niall Horan.