After 3

Chapter 234.

"Feel things? Where did he touch you?" I don't want to know.

"My legs, they undressed me."

"Only your legs?" Please say yes.

"Yes, I think so. It could have been so much worse but Zed.." she stops. "Anyway, the pills made my body so heavy, I don't know how to explain it."

"I've taken pills like that before, I know what you mean."

"You have?" Her mouth falls open and I nod. "On purpose?"

"Yes, they can be fun when you take the right kind."

Broken memoires of blacking out in bars and stumbling down the streets of London race through my mind. The idea that I once had of fun is completely different than what I consider to be fun now. 

"I guess fun isn't the word." I backtrack. She smiles sweetly and adjusts the collar of her sweater. "Where did that come from?" I ask.

"The sweater? It's my mother's, can't you tell?" Her fingers tug at the thick crème fabric that is pulled too tight across her chest.

"I don't know, Noah was at the door and you're dressed like that, I thought I had stepped into a time machine," I tease. Her eyes light up with humor, all sadness momentarily washed away, and she bites down on her lip in an attempt to hide her smile. She sniffles and reaches over to the small table to pull a tissue from the floral box.

"No, no time machine." Tessa shakes her head back and forth slowly while wiping at her nose. Fuck, even after crying she's so damned beautiful.

'"I was worried about you." I tell her. Her smile disappears. Fuck.

"This is what confuses me."

"What? That I was worried?"

"Yes,"

"I'm always worried about you, you know that."

"You don't always say it."

She's right, I don't always say it but it's true. I spend hours a day worrying about her.

"You told me you didn't want to try anymore but here you are telling me that you were worried about me." She stares at me blankly, her lip trembling.

Emotion, this is what I need from her. I need the reassurance.

"It's okay, I'm not upset with you." She is taking my silence the wrong way.  "I do appreciate you coming here and bringing my car. It means a lot to me that you did that." She continues while I sit in silence on the couch.

"It's nothing," I shrug. I need to say something, anything.

"How will you get home? Wait.. how did you even know how to get here?" Shit.

""Landon, he knew." I lie.

"Oh, he's here?" Her eyes light up again.

"Yeah, he's outside."

"Oh! I'm keeping you, I'm sorry." She flushes and stands to her feet.

"No, you aren't. He's fine out there waiting." I stammer.

I don't want to leave.

Unless you're coming with me.

"He should have come inside,"

"He's fine." My voice comes out much too sharp.

"Thank you again for brining my car," she's trying to dismiss me in a polite way.

"Do you want me to bring your stuff inside?" I offer.

"No, I'm leaving in the morning so it's easier to keep it in there."