Hallelujah

Chapter 49

Before I could process anything, Josh walked through the door and into the kitchen, a look of sorrow and guilt stretched on his face. My mom stayed in her seat as she watched him walk into the kitchen, a small smile stretched on her face. My eyes searched both of there faces for answers, but they wouldn't give them away.

"Please. Just tell me! I'm scared please!" I yelled.

Josh came over to me and touched my face. His hands were cold like how they were in the car when he touched my stiches. But it didn't really bother me, because it was cold as hell outside.

My mom wrapped her pale skinny arms around my shoulders, and gave them a little nudge to get me to stand up. Before we started walking, josh blocked my way.

"Are you sure your ready? We can show you this some other time babe" He lightly said.

"Yes! Please! No more secrets josh!" I whinned.

He looked at my mom who then looked back at him, shaking her head and both looking back at me. I looked at Josh, his face washed with pitty. He was white as a ghost.

"Okay, give me your hand then" my mom said.

She stretched her hand out for me to take, and in response I looked at it for a minute. My hand was shaky and filled with fear as we began walking around the corner and up the stairs. My mind started racing with ideas and thoughts that couldn't put themselves together. Why was Josh here? Why didn't i hear him pull into the driveway? Did my mom invite him? When did she? Are my mom and Josh screwing around?

Before I could finish my last thought, we were standing infront of my closed door. The feeling and the atmosphere felt dark and sad, like how I always felt. But that was before josh, before my life somewhat changed. The clock in the hallway was ticking away, the time reading seven o'clock. My hand was still wrapped in my mom's, but my attention was toward josh.

"What's going o-on?" My voice was shaky, my heart beating a million times, and tears started racing down my face.

My mom faced me, along with josh as they stood infront of me. I couldn't control my breathing at any point of that time. My head thumped with fear, hopping that blurry wouldn't do anything to ruin this moment. I needed to know.

"Open the door" Josh said.

I couldn't connect with my body. I wanted to, but I couldn't. I was so scared.

"W-why? P-please just t-tell me!" The tears uncontrollable at this point.

My mom stepped closer to me, her face glowing with light, everything glowing with light. She had a sympathetic look in her eyes that sparkled like none other before.

"Just open the door ty. We'll be right here".

I looked at Josh who had the same glowing look, and sympathetic sparkle. A wave of nerve washed over me, but something in the back of my head promised me everything would be okay. So I opened the door.
****
"TYLER WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Was the first thing I heard when I walked in.

My mom was running over to me, the hanging body that was squirming for air as I was hanging myself. The memories felt too fresh in my head. I stood in the corner of the room, not being noticed as all of this was happening.

"H-help m-me". The body that seemed to have not been in contact with me pleaded.

I walked up to.. myself, and took this hand into mine. This caught the attention of me, completely forgetting about everything else. My eyes were glued to the other half of me as I pleaded to be let down. Something told me to tell myself that it would be alright, that I wouldn't have to fight anymore. I squeezed my hand, and nooded my head up and down.