Josh was doing everything in his power to make me laugh, or atleast smile. Against all the odde's at this moment, he wanted us to be happy. Everything was so complex that I couldn't deal at all. I couldn't even remember the last time I went to school, or when I was home and felt happy. I always wished this upon me, death. But I didn't want it to be this way. I wanted it to be quick and easy so that I could no longer have sorrow for myself or others.
"Stop thinking. You do too much of it" Josh said.
I glanced over at him, the crinkles that I thought I would never see again shown upon his face. His hair was back to that vibrant color or pink that sparked love withen me. This felt right. Like how it should've been the entire time. The windows were doing, letting the cold afternoon breeze make its self comfortable in the car. His hand was placed on my thigh and his other leading the wheel on the road. It reminded me of when he took me home from school and how safe I felt even though I had just met him.
"I get that alot" I snarled. I looked back into my direction and seen that I still had the bandages covering my entire arm. New blood had surface onto it as I could tell my how dark it was. Somewhere inside me, that fascinated every dark part that I had. But other parts told me to look away, and try to not become so involved with blood ever again.
"Is it okay if I take you somewhere first?" Josh spoke up.
I looked over at him, eyebrows raised as to why he would want to go anywhere at this time. I didn't really know if I had actually forgiven him because the words "I love you too" kept slipping out my mouth. I felt like we had alot to talk about.
"Depends? Does it involve something ediable? Because I'm starving".
He chuckled a little while squeezing at my thigh. His beautiful teeth shown through the folds of his lips as they starighnted up and formed a smile.
"Of course it envolves food. Ice cream to be exact!" **** We arrived at Handel's, the place josh took me for the very first time when we met eachother. I told him what I wanted as he was walking up to the stand and I picked the table that we sat at the last time. If it literally wasn't deja vu, nobody was here except us. The only one's who would be crazy enough to eat ice cream while it's freezing. After a couple minutes went by, josh came back with two cups and handed mine along with setting his down beside me. I picked up the spoon with my right hand since my left wasn't fully functional.
"Did they just wrap this up do you know? Or did they actually do some work to it?"
"I'm pretty sure they stitched you up". And then he paused. "Tyler" he said, turning his body to me.
"You cut vertically, which is the only reason you bled so much. You are not supposed to cut that way because you could have died. I was really worried!" He said.
I hadn't realize that I didn't tell him the full story as to what happend. And i guess I didn't want to because I was tired of seeing it in my head. It was to much to handle.
"Josh I didn't do it if that's what you're thinking. Blurry did it! He took over me again and somehow manipulated my mind. I'm not crazy!"
"And I'm not saying you are". His tone went from loud to quite as he seen that the people at the concession stand were watching us.
"There has to be another way to fight the urge of him coming in. Do you still tak-"
"Josh you're not understanding. He could be in my head one moment, and the next he's standing in front of me choking me to death. I don't know how he does it!"
Josh let out a frustared sigh, not really knowing what to say himself. This was all confusing and I wouldn't blame him one bit for giving up. But I'm starting to believe that he's only getting more powerful and that there will be nothing I can do about it. I picked up the spoon again and dipped it into the creme, trying to find the next question I could ask.
"Do you.. think I'm crazy josh? W-what if I'm making all this up. What if im.. actually doing this to myself? Am I the only voice inside my head is my conscience. It's me".
His eyes flarred up, but soon died down at the question. He became very nervous and anxious but let the feeling go as he was ready to answer me question.
"I-i don't think you are tyler. I think you just need to process stuff, y'know? Everything is gonna be okay"
I gave him a reassuring smile as I began eating my ice cream again. He placed his hand on my thigh, running it up at down as he could tell i was upset. But someone his touch aslways seemed to calm me. The faint noise of a ukulele caught my attention as I shot my head and looked around for it. Josh looked at what I was doing and what caught my attention to, looking do it.
"Do you hear that?" I asked.
"Yea" he smirked.
"I think I know the song" he said.
I stood up and walked around the table and to the concession stand to see what I was hearing. The people up front placed a little radio on the ledge for there customers to listen to outside. When I seen that nobody we near, I turned the volume up a smidge so that we could hear it from where we were sitting at. I turned around swiftly and walked to josh, joy spiking up my body.
"You must like this song don't you? He asked, his smile taunting me.
"I do. I only like it for the meaning that it shares". I stood up, teaching my hand for him to take. When he acknowledged, he stood up and pushed out bodies close toegther. I rested my head on his firm chest and let the soothing sound of his hearbeat and the soft melody enchance my feelings.
"Oooo, ooooo, ooohohooo"
His voice vibrated throughout my body sending sharp stings of happines in me. I allowed him to sing the song to me as I enjoyed hearing the both of them.
"Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high. And the dreams that dreamed of once in a lullaby"
His voice matched the tone of the singers. I never heard his voice go so low before, and it was quite beautiful. He hands slipped down to my hips pulling my closer, and moved them in a way that they swayed against him. The bandage arm rested against his chest also, taking away the pain.
"Keep going" i whispered.
"Oh, somewhere over the rainbow blue birds fly. And the dream that you dreamed of, dreams really do come true".
I lifted my head off his shoulder to look at him. His mocha eyes were filled with the words of a thousand passionate men. I was happy I was able to have josh, to protect me and love me in times that aren't easy. No words could thank him. I starting blushing as his lips came close to mine, resting his head on my forhead.
"I love you tyler joseph. So, so much. Please don't forgot that"
W: so I'm coming close to ending the book. There are parts that I want you to remeber becase they will be very vital (important). The first one.. remember this ending. When Josh says I love you please don't forget that. When the end of the book comes, you'll understand why he said that. Enough spoilers for the day:)
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
