Hallelujah

Chapter 4.

"Have a good day kid" my mom said, clicking down on the unlock bottom so I could get out of the car.

"Yep". And with that I swiftly got out the car and began walking up to the curb to the large double doors. A large sign flashed in our school colors saying "Welcome back Black Panthers!". To much enthusiasm was put into that sign, it made me sick. I got through the doors and made my way to the only hallway that I felt comfortable in. I sat at this bench that was placed infront of our biggest window in the school. It out- looked a field that the school was plastered on. I began thinking about what this school year was going to be like. Considering I'm a junior now, will my behavior change? Will I get mentally and physically better? Geez what am I thinking? I know for a fact that won't happen. Right as I was getting comfortable in my own thoughts, the irritating bell rang for class. My first class was english, which I enjoyed more than any other class. I find myslef as a talented writer, but I wouldn't dare let anyone read them. I grabbed by bookbag and headed around the corner. I was preparing myself to see these new faces and old faces. The class wasn't hard at all, but immature idiots still couldn't pass the class if an A+ was handed to them on a golden plate. I entered the classroom and immediately headed for the back of the room. I liked sitting in the back becuase trouble was never started back there. I slid into the chair, letting my legs strech out, and dropped my bag closely beside me, looking at the teacher, then the door. Teacher, then the door. As numbers of students came piling in like little bugs, one specifically caught my eye. I studied his features as he also, was coming to the back of the room. He had almost a dusty pink color in his hair, a shirt that said "I want to believe" with a UFO centered in the middle of his shirt, black pants and black vans. I guess I was staring to look long enough, because I could see him standing 2 inches away from my desk.

"Do I look okay?" He asked. A smile big enough for crinkles to form by his eyes.

"Sorry. I- I like the shirt". I quickly put my head down. I hated talking to individuals I didn't know. He was now added to my list.

"No it's okay". He sat down to the desk right beside me and twisted his body so he was facing me"

"I'm Joshua. Joshua Dun. But I prefer Josh if you don't mind". He lifted his hand out for me to shake and also signaling me to introduce myself in that moment. I looked down at his hand, not wanting to grab it becuase I would ultimately screw up.

"Im.. I-I um.. I'm Tyler. Jospeh. I grabbed his hand and moved my hand up and down with the rhythm of his. His grip was very firm and warm. He was probably wondering why my hand was skinny and cold.

"Nice to meet you Tyler". He let go of my hand and immediately i wanted it back.

"Aren't yuh just happy we're back here? I'm definitely not!" His arms were expanded wide putting invensys on being here. "I'm just happy to be a junior. One more year and then I'm out".

"Ye-a. It's whatever". I drew my attention back to the front of the class, leaving him still looking at me, body turned and all. As the class finally started calming down, the teacher lifted himself up from his desk. Josh was still, full attention towards me. I could tell he was now examining my body. His eyes were at my clothes as I could feel them sticking to me. Then the pair of eyes traveled up to my chest, then to my neck where I knew he stopped. I started fidgeting in my seat to try and make it really obvious I was uncomfortable.

"Welcome class. My name is Mr. Walsh and I'm going to be your English teacher. I hope we can have a great year and a great, functional classroom. I watched him look around the classroom but from the looks of the students, it was going to be rough.

"I hope you all came prepared. If you have a notebook, please pull it out. And if you don't, I have loose paper of at my desk for you to use".

I really didn't want to turn my body and look down. Josh was still looking at me. I figured he knew what they were. "Just get it out of the way" I said to myself. I reached down forcing myself to not make any eye contact when I felt a hand in my shoulder.

"Dude" he said in a hushed voice. "Sick hickeys man. Do they hurt? I mean like, more than what a small one would?" I froze. Did he really just say that? I knew I had to play it off. I can't tell someone that I tried to hang myself even though I was partly unaware of it.

Yes you can tyler. Tell him. TELL HIM!".

"No" I said through gritted teeth. Crap.

"Oh. I'm s-sorry. I'll leave you alone"

I quickly came back up to look him in the face. But as much as I wanted to say something to him, his attention was already drawn to the board. And so I left it there.

"You can't do anything right can you?
*****
The bell finally rang and I can say, I was the first one out of the room. I didn't want josh questioning me becuase judging from his character, he probably loved asked questions when he didn't understand something. I started down the hallway when I felt someone grab my hand. I spun around to meet josh.

"You forgot this". I looked down in his hands and it was my notebook. I looked back up while grabbing it simultaneously.

"Thanks". I looked him in the eyes. They still had that beautiful light to them. Almost as if I could jump in and explore life through his perspective. Quite frankly I wouldn't mind that. As I was walking off he grabbed me again.

"Was everything okay back there? I mean, I know it's none of business, but you seemed scared or upset when I asked the question. I just want to make sure we're all good".

We're all good? Does he think we've developed a friendly relationship? I don't even know this guy. I guess I was use to pushing people away I didn't really realize I had one standing in front of me.

"Yea it's fine. Let's just forgot that okay?" And with that i walked away. I could feel his eyes roaming my body from behind. Why is he doing that? Do guys usually do that? I just hope this day will go by fast so I don't have to do or say anything else stupid.

W: I suck:)