Hallelujah

Chapter 21.

I was about waist deep in the water that was illuminated by the lights placed around the waterfall. Josh was now infront of me, and couldn't look any better than what he already did. His hair smothered his forhead with little strans peeking into his eyelashes. His body was almost glowing from the water droplets running down his arms and chest. His tattoos looked even better because it brought out the features of what it truly was. His face looked confused though, almost as if he was expecting something from me..

"I-I didn't know you had tattoo's?"

I completly forgot I had them myself because the don't seem to play a big part in my life at the moment. His eyes scanned my right arm, and snaked up to my chest where he saw the boxes. He gazed at me, then back down to the drawings, trying to understand.

"What do they mean?" He asked.

His voice was so innocent and pure. I fell in love with it each time and I wasn't realising that.

"It has to do with my inner self I guess. I don't really tell people because I don't want them to think I'm crazy". I lightly smiled at him, feeling embarrassed that I couldn't tell him.

"Well that's fine!" He swam closer to me, closing in the rest of the gaps.

"I don't wanna push to hard to find stuff out about you". He whispered in my ear.

A lump began to form in my chest as his hands lazily traveled up the side of my lower stomach, towards my exposed chest. The water was cold, but his touch could melt an iceberg into a million pieces, and I was the iceberg. His eyes focused on me, and the lust that was vivid from earlier crept back in.

"I'm so happy we met. I'm happy I'm starting to gain to gain your trust. I wanna be with you tyler. And I hope, that when you're ready, we can make that happen".

His voice was even quieter without the whisper attached. His lips were pressed against my ear lobe, whimpering thoughts and promises I soon wished to accomplish. He was my safe heaven.

"I-I w-wanna b-be with y-you josh, but i-im scared to hurt you". My mind couldn't think as he had me wrap my legs around his waist. We walked backwards, deeper into the water so out chests were covered with the brisk liquid. He pushed his chest deeper into my ribs, watching what he did to me.

"You're not gonna hurt me ty. It's not you who wants to hurt anyways. But if you happen to do so, atleast I know I'll do a happy man".

His eyes fluttered shut as he walked into the waterfall and behind it. We were now in the water's cave, on looking the chute. His eyes opened again and looked straight into mine. We stayed like this for at least 30 seconds before I broke the silence.

"I just hope we never have to think about that josh". His huge hand cupped my small face, holding it like an important speciem to earth.

"We wont". His voice was back down to a whisper.

His hand traveled up and down my thigh as he pulled me in tighter. I wrapped my hands around his neck and waited for what I hoped for next.

"Can i?"

"Can you what?"

He snickered a little while lightly squeezing my thigh.

"Kiss you jospeh!"

I already invisioned his lips tangled in mine. They were a sold blue and white from the lack of heat they got. Of course, I would be happy to fix that.

"You don't have to ask anymore touch me. I feel comfortable with you". I traced the skin of his lips while looking at him, deeply watching his soul show through his eye sockets; ultimately filled with joy. He leaned in and so did i. Our lips met softly, with our heads going in different directions. Instant heat filled me up, wanting more of him. His hand roamed the low parts of my spine, and his other hand still cupping my face. Our lips became more glued toegther when I filled up every single space between us there was to fill. I became lost in my mind.

Intimacy is not who you let touch you. Intimacy is when you text someone at three a.m. about your dreams and fears; intimacy is giving someone your attetion when others are asking for it; intimacy is having someone on your mind, no matter how busy or distracted you are. It's easy to take your clothes off and have sex with people, in which this case, has never been me because my trust for people is raw, just like my emotions. But opening your soul to someone, letting them in to your thoughts, fears, dreams, and future, that is being naked. That, is being intimate.

That, is Joshua Dun.

W: hi. I'm feeling somewhat better after my friend's passing. I feel like mentally im still not here though, so in result I've done stupid decisions lately that I've wanted to stay away from.. but whatever. The only thing helping me is writing this book, and that damn video above. I hope this book is getting better. I feel like i shouldn't even finish writing it.