Hallelujah

Chapter 37.

I left josh's house, the world against me with every footstep that I took. I felt like I wasn't doing the right thing, to leave him alone in his own mind. I couldn't handle seeing him like this and I don't know what made him do this. Then again, why do people do the things they do in the first place? The cold brisk air felt like it could sweep me off my feet and float me away into the land of nothing. I wish I would've taken one of his hoodie's, but I didn't wanna be reminded of him right now. Everything happend so fast that my brain physically can't cope with it. How we met happend so fast. How we started being around eachother happend so fast. And now we're together? It's like somones writing about my life, and rushes through everything withen the story just to get to the bad parts. I felt so lonely. I thought I would never feel this again.

"I told you"

"I don't wanna hear it. Not right now" I harshly spoke.

"You do want to hear it, and that's why you're paying attention to every single detail in my words".

I hated to admit that he was right. Right about josh, my feelings, his feelings, all of it. Who do I have to turn to now? My mom won't listen to me anymore. Needless to say I haven't heard from her since I left the house. I just haven't been in my mind and I feel like that's where I should be. Trapped. So that when it's time to demolish all these feelings and emotions and thoughts, i'd be dead.
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The walk home was obvusily longer than what I wanted it to be. It was too cold to even breath, it felt like I was being tortured. But I had finally made it into the fimailar neighborhood, and started down the long sidewalk that led me to the one place I hopped to never see again either. When I had made it to the porch, I realised that my mom's car wasn't there, which is a huge surprise because she never goes anywhere after nine-thirty. I walked up to the door and removed the porch mat that was at my feet. Usually we kept a key there for situations where I wouldn't come home for days, but when I did, I needed something to get back into the house with. I picked it up and inserted it into both the top and bottom lock. The door snapped open and the warm breeze of hell hit me in the face. The house smelled the same and looked the same. I didn't really know why I felt like I needed to be prepared for something different.

I immediately walked upstairs and to my room, the same place I always go when I want to escape reality. I deseve peace. I deserve to not live in the meaningless pardox that is advocated with life itself. I had many thoughts in my head, one that I felt could only help in this situation. I prayed that this would help me, eliminated these problem's.

W:I would love to hear tyler sing over the rainbow on his little ukulele!! That would be suuuuu cuteeee

Bad quality but this is beautiful! He was doing addict with a pen I think?