Hallelujah

Chapter 35.

My body felt like it couldn't move. I seriously wanted to scream. I wanted to rip my lips open and just scream. Nothing could describe the feelings of seeing your boyfriend walk into any guys house, no matter who they were. Brandon looked around maybe two or three times to see if anyone was looking before shutting the door. My body began to tremble with each step that I tried to take towards the porch. My body had the same feeling as when I was thrown out the car. I landed in the back yard and seen Josh and Brandon come out the same time that I fell. Josh was carrying a brown bag in one hand and another substances in the other. Brandon was right behind him on his phone, laughing as they were heading to some sort of shake. Josh opened the door for him and smiled as he walked in.

"Does he smile like that at you?"

"Y-yes?"

"No idiot. He dosen't! He dosen't want you!"

My head banged again and the only way I wanted it to be gone is if I began walking with them. I got up and followed the footsteps that lead to wood shaped box. My hand trembled as I reached for the doorknob to open it. I could feel the stinging in my hand as I opened it, feeling the heat of torture hit me from seeing these two happy and smiley. I stepped in and looked around at the objects that were scattered along the wooden tables that stretched along the wall. Brandon took the bag that was in josh's hands and dumped the substance out of it. Inside was a large bag of marijuana, a spoon, a small baggy of what looked like herion, a lighter and needles.

"What boyfriend would do this to you? Huh? He dosen't care about you tyler! He's trying to wash away the pain of your existence by using this stuff. It's the only way he wont.. think about you"

I was convinced that I was having a seizure standing up because my entire body was uncontrollably shaking. The tears that were ready to fall filled my vision and scratched at the corners of my eyes. I walked in more and stood behind josh's seat, watching as he painfully smiled and picked up the lighter that connected with the needle and the herion. He poured out maybe a penny sized full and of heroin and dumped it onto the spoon. Brandon was taking the marijuana out and separating the large chunks of it so it wouldn't be a big piece to roll. I looked back over at Josh who already to the cap of the needle and had it ready to inject himself. He flicked the lighter on and rolled up his sleeve to the crease of his arm.

"I would do the same thing. Jeez, he must hate you alot. You are nothing but a pathetic peice of shit for believing he truly loved you"

The words stung into my chest as I knew he was right. He was right all along and there was nothing I could do it say to fix it. I was stupid.

Josh placed the spoon over the raging fire and watched as the substances began to darken, a brown-ish color coming to light. Bubbles began to appear as the cooking of it ended. He placed the spoon down and took the needle to the material and pulled the draw back. It filled up with the herion and stopped when it couldnt reach any higher.

"You ready to do this?" Brandon asked.

Josh took a moment to answer. I could tell he had alot on his mind, and I was hoping I was one of them. I went to stand infront of him. His face was pale and not full of light the way it should be. His hair didn't glow anymore with personality. His eyes were dark and full of sorrow, and so were the bags that hung underneath them. He looked, dead.

"Let him answer tyler!"

I fought the scream in my head and stood my ground. I placed both of my heated hands onto his cold face. Of course he didn't feel it, but I could tell he had of sense of love and compassion swallow his body. I was the only person who could do that. He his slightly grew as he felt that sense. I leaned foward towards his ear and said

"You don't have to do this josh. You don't want to do this. Please, don't take this road. You won't come back"

I backed up and hopefully my words made an impact to him.

"Dude? Hellooo?? C'mon stick it in so i can have my turn idiot!"

But it was like I said nothing. Brandon have him a broken rubber band and he tied it around the area he was going to shoot up. Josh took the needle and laid his arm flat, placing it right at a bright green vain.

"You'll be forgotten forever tyler"

I screamed as he injected the needle, leaning his new back as it went deeper into his skin. His mouth hung open and a smirk filled his face as he welcomed back the familiar feeling in his body. He took it out and threw away the needle, getting ready to make the next batch.

"Yeaaa josh! Haven't seen you do this in forever!"

He smiled and was ready to do the next. I backed up slowly towards the door when I bumped into something. I tunred around to come face to face with the insecurity himself.

"I told you not to trust him! He's a liar tyler! But I'll always be here". He placed his cold hand in my shoulder and spun me back around to thsoe two. I looked at josh's face who semmingly was gone. His life was officaly thrown away as he shot up again into the other arm. The tears rolled down my face at such a rapid pace, I couldn't stop them. I closed my eyes, hoping I would wake up. The smell of the heat came back. The smell of josh's bathroom came back. The blurryness came back as I opened my eyes to only realise I was bundled up in a ball, crying into my hands. I could hear voices outside of the bathroom, one that sounded to fimailar. I quickly got up and turned off the shower. I stepped out and wrapped the towel around my sore body and headed across his room. There he was, lying on his bed, dazed and confused. Hopeless.

W: yes the song is suppose to sound like that. Just dont have it to loud cause then it wont sound good :'). I wanted to give this a sad feeling. The only song that could really make you feel was this. This chapter means alot. Ohio is known for having the most deaths of herion and drugs overdoes each year. Probably the top 4 places in America. I grew up around it my entire life. My uncle's and aunt's and cousins all did it. I felt like that was what I was suppose to do too. When I was 14 I tried it, and became somewhat addicted to it ever since. But it's not what it's cracked up to be. I'm getting help now of course and barely think about it anymore.. which is a good thing. But it's something that will be apart of me forever. And it never goes away unless you truly want it to. So never do drugs kids.