"One day you'll understand why everything happend to you. One day you'll understand why you couldn't trust josh. You couldn't trust him".
"Your gonna open your eyes and see that this was all a dream tyler. I'm so sorry, I love you."
"I'll always be here no matter what! Whether you realize it or not. You mean everything to me tyler. I love you so, so much!"
"PLEASE STOP!" I yelled. The dreams of the voices shook me out of my sleep, scaring me nearly half to death. I was so tired of trying to understand these brand new riddles that were coming out of nowhere. Josh started acting differently, blurry treated me in a way that was pure evil but also a way of forcing me to open my eyes; and my mom, out of all people, changed for the worst. My breath was so rapid as I was trying to understand these thoughts. It was too early in the morning to even be thinking at this time, but of course only my body is capable of that.
I dragged myself out of the bed and went over to my closet to grab a pair of shoes and a jacket. At this point, the only thing that felt menatlly good for me was simply clearing it. I felt like the world was ending around me, and that in the rubbish of all ruining's, I would find the worst secret ever. I wasn't prepared for that. But what if this is all just in my head? And maybe I'm just looking too far in this? Whatever it is, I needed the light to finally hit it, so it could expose itself forever.
I headed out my room and slowly went down the creaking steps, making sure I didn't awake my mom so she could ask billions of questions as to why I was leaving the house at three in the morning. When I reached the bottom, I scuffled around and headed for the door, lightly pulling on it to shut it. I didn't have an exact plan as to what I was doing or where I was going, but that didn't bother me at all. If being lost took my away i'd be the happiest seven-teen year old ever.
I walked out of the rocky driveway and headed down the street to where I seen huge street lamps. Everything around me was quiet and erie, almost as if I was a lone human. I could see the faded bars of the park shine in my veiw as they were appearing with each step. I decided I'd go there since I wouldn't be bothered much. My feet skidded against the loose gravel and unmanned concrete that wasn't fully into the earth. I probably looked like a zombie walking down the street. One day I would feel so fond of myself, the next I was just another piece of worthless shit who's life didn't matter because suicidal, depressed teenager's matter to nothing.
My view of the park became clear as the metal swings slightly flew in the soft breeze. I loved swings. They made me feel like i was invincible, made me feel so young. I loved the feeling of being so high in the air that you couldn't get down, and the only way was to jump. Metaphorically speaking anyways, that would never happen. I shifted my small body onto the cold seat and began swinging my legs in a slow back and forth motion, feeling the air crack on my warm feet. I hung my head low so I wouldn't have to face the dark that was oddly infront of me and the park. It worried me how the deeper I exposed myself to the world, the darker it gotten. I just wanted to be happy, that's all I ask for.
One of the things I find most shocking in this world is how natural yearning is for someone. How natural it is to find such strong and intense feelings for another. Even animals have the ability to feel that missing part of them they've been searching for. If a young animal looses its mother so to say, that primitive conciousless being would remember that loss for forever. Feelings can be so tragically beautiful. But the most weirdest, most amazing thing is how we at nothing but a pile of flesh and bones. When we are born, we are destined to die. It took many years to finally understand the meaning of "soul" and "feelings". We may live in rotten meat and fragile parts, but we are so much more. These thoughts, the ones were I sit up late at night or early in the morning, are the one's that result around josh. I didn't know what else to believe in. I didn't want to invest my life in a person who lives in the sky and helps you in life, becuase he wasn't doing that for me. Josh was who I evolved in. He was the pri-
"Tyler? Is that you?"
The voice nearly made me jump out my skin as I hopped off the seat and into the sand surrounded by me. I turned around, my heart beating a million time's with trembling hands. It took me a minute to really process who was standing infront of me.
"Tylerrr! Dude hey! It's me, Brandon!"
W: I am sooooo tireddddd! My body hurts from walking around the waterpark all day and what not. Fitness is not for me.. anyways, I've decided that the story will only have maybe 5 more parts left, or less, because tyler will begin to figure things out. I'm excited to share with you all:)
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