After taking some time to rest and clean up, we went back downstairs and scattered through cabinets to find something to eat. His mom wasn't home yet, but it was only five o'clock, so that would explain much. I don't know why but it seemed that when I'm here, time moves faster. But things happen slower. I loved the frustration.
"Hey! Daydreamer! Get outta the clouds and stay down here with me"
Josh's sharp voice dragged me back to the depths of earth as he was trying to get my attention back.
"I'm sorry. What did you say?"
"I said what you you like? We don't have much, but that could be something me and you do later to get". That stupid smile of his appeared on his face again as he was that I was once again zoning out.
"Tylerrr! Helloooo? Why do you do that so much?"
"Do what?" I asked.
"Zone out? It's like one moment i have you, the next your gone".
I enjoyed the feeling of physically being somewhere, but mentally detached. It was almost the same thing as sex, exhilarating.
"I don't know. I've just always done that. Helps me think I guess". He grabbed a box of pop tarts and came over to the couch were i was awkwardly sitting. He handed me one and I immediately took the wrapper off and began to eat it.
"You okay?" He asked, weariness now suffocating his body.
"Yea i-I I'm fine. I was just thinking. That all".
"Are you sure? Is it anything bad?". His jaw dropped open and he stood up, covering his cheeks.
"Was the sex bad!? Was I too rough? You should've told me ty! I would've st-"
"Your overreacting josh!" I chuckled, standing up with him and guiding him back down to his spot on the couch. "God you are so gay". The little lines in his eyes stretched big and wide as he blushed to my words.
"I know". **** It was now seven at night. Josh's mom had already cooked and allowed us to eat, and now we were looking for something to do. We were outside laying in the grass, watching as the cool night kicked in, and the sun being kicked out. I had one of josh's hoodies that had that fimailar scent that I wanted to die in. We layed side by side, in such quietness that I could hear him breathing beside me. And that settled me alot.
"Tyler? Can i ask you something?
"Go for it" I said.
"You remember brandon? The kid that came to school with us?"
I turned and laid on my side, proping myself up on my elbow.
"Yea? What about him?"
"He's the only one that didn't leave me." He blankly said.
I was very confused by his words and I wanted to know why he was speaking about him in a way that almost made me feel.. jealous.
"What do you mean josh? Were you two toegther?"
He smiled lightly and rolled on his side, propping himself up on his elbow.
"No silly! When I told you about the drugs thing. Those friends that I thought I had, left me after I became a complete mess" he said. His eyes started drifiting off, and I knew a story was coming.
"I spent three years running around town trying to find people with the best drugs, with the things that I needed. Never in my life I would've thought that I'd get addicted to drugs. I thought that, the night that I did it with them, they wouldn't force me to do more. I hate myself mentally everyday for doing such a thing because I know I disappointed plenty of people around me". He stopped and breathed in, remembering those days as if they were yesterday.
"When I fell into this addiction, Brandon was there for me. The only one there for me and I could never repay him for that. I was in such a dark place tyler. I mistreated so many good people, I made them feel like shit. But somehow, when it came to Brandon I had full respect. When I needed people, he was there. When I needed help he was there. If it wasn't for him, i'd be a goner".
A part of me wondered why he was telling me this, and a part of me wanted to be there for him when needed. I felt sick to my stomach that josh almost lost his life to this. It just didn't feel right. I watched him as he wiped away his dreadful tears, regretting all the mistakes he made in that time zone.
"J-Josh I'm sorry. I'm sorry that had to happen to you. You are an amazing human being now" I sat up and scooted closer to him, letting his head lay in my lap.
"Us human's have to go through things that I guess will shape us into better people. And whatever that may be, there's always help. And if Brandon was the help for you, then I'm happy he did what he needed to do. Because if he didn't, I wouldn't be able to have an amazing boyfriend like you".
The words boyfriend felt weird as they left my mouth. It was the first time I used it with him, so I never really knew what that would feel like. It made him feel weird too after he shot up and looked me.
"You should start saying that more often. It makes me feel good" he smiled.
We both leaned in for a warm hug. The sun was almost down and all the night creatures were starting to come out. I realized that tomorrow was monday, and it was something that I didn't look forward to. But as long as I had josh, everything was presently fine.
"I'm sorry I randomly told you that. It was just on my mind for reasons" he shily said.
"Josh, you can tell me a story about how the grass grows and I'll still listen to you". He laughed as if I tickled him in a sensitive spot and lightly pushed me over.
"I'll be sure to do that babe"
W: I wait to upload these chapters just so they can be spaced out. I've been seeing that some people aren't caught up yet, so I don't wanna rush them and force them to read. I'll try to get one out tomorrow at a conveint time:))) I shall start ending these with pics and what not of josh's Snapchat story.
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