Hallelujah

Chapter 26.

I slammd my door shut and paced back and forth. My emotions seemed to somehow always get ahold of me at the most unwanted time. My frustrations made me want to scream at the top of my lungs. I had so much anger built in me that I thought I had released, but I didn't. I wanted to go back to josh's house and stay there with him forever, but I knew I had to fight it out here. I layed on the wood of the house, letting my muscles rest in peace. I took the lump out of my back pocket that was my phone, and swipped it over to play music. I typed in Nirvana on my playlist and scanned through until I found "The Man Who Sold The World". My thumb clicked it and I placed the object on top of my chest. My eyes batted softly as they began to close against my skin. I let my arms lay either side of me, and allowed myself to sink deep into the wood. My imagination instantly thought of all the things me and Joshua did. I mused of us in the waterfall, how happy we both looked and calm to be in eachothers arms. The next picture flicked over like a view master, and showed me the next adventure we took together. I could feel myself smile as we were in the car and playing the music, along with the things josh was doing in between. The next image came over, but it didn't look familiar.

This image looked like I was in a dark room and I was by myself. I placed my hands out infront of me, thinking that I would actaully feel something. My hands felt like I was touching a brick wall, but this wall seemed to be letting breathes in and out. My hands traveled up this figure and towers his throat, seeing if I could feel some sort of a pulse. Instead of feeling for what I was looking for, I felt a long growl in the pit of its neck, and instantly I knew who it was. I felt the actions I was doing laying here, and in this weird dream thing. I no longer heard the singing of the strums of the guitar playing. I could only hear my breathing and blurrys.

"Speak of the devil" I said.

"No, just you tyler. Why haven't you talked to me? I tried talking to you in your dream but you didn't put too much thought in it because of that stupid josh kid".

"Why would I want to talk to you?" I spoke. "You've done nothing for me and Josh has. I would like to keep it that way".

"How many times do I have to tell you? He dosen't care. You keep looking for something safe in life, but it'll never come. Not to you!"

"It will! I know it will. I've heard less of you so I know you're weak. I kno-"

His loud laugh ringed in my head and out my ears.

"You think I'm weak!? Tyler? Do you not remember the little episode I put you through the other day in front of your ugly little boyfriend? I gained so much power from that and I'm stronger then ever! But one of these days im just gonna show you that when you get near him. Yeah, I'm gonna make you do it infront of everyone. Your just a piece of shit tyler".

His voice felt like it was right in front of me. I could see the glowing eyes of his the last time. They were a dark red and full of evil.

"P-please don't do that. I-I just gained all th-is confidence fr-from josh. P-plea-"

"He dosen't care tyler. HE DOSEN'T CARE!!!"

The sound of him echoed in the air as I could feel him leave. My eyes instantly snapped open and I jolted to breath, almsot as if I was holding it in. But that couldn't be, because I could feel my lips moving as I was talking. And I could hear myself. I felt the worst pain on both side's of my arm. I sat up and pulled up each sleeve. Each arm, starting from the wrist and halfway down to my elbow had deep, bloodshot cuts that looked like fingernails how duh in to my skin. I looked at the other side, and a the same. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I knew I couldn't have done it because there wasn't blood under my nails. Tears instantly hit my eyes and down my cheecks as it was moments like this, Josh could be holding me. I knew I couldn't take this to my mom because she made it clear enough she wouldn't help.

I stood up and my legs felt like complete jello. I grabbed two bags that were casually laying around my room. I rushed over to my closet and took everything in sight, and threw it in. The next bag had my journal and small room things. My plan was to leave and hopefully not come back for a while. I ran back over to reach my phone and type in josh's name for a message.

Me: Josh, please come get me. It's an emergency!"

I tossed my phone on the bed, instantly hearing the vibration of a message coming through. I walked over towards the bed while grabbing both of bags. I swipped the screen over and read the message.

Josh: I'm on my way. Does your mom know what's going on? If not, go out the window

Me: she dosen't know

I sat the phone down along with myself, but once again swipped back up from the vibration.

Josh: okay, im almost there baby

My arms began burning like I was lighting a cigarette and setting it down on my skin. More tears started running as I kept thinking of what I was gonna say and do. I hated doing this josh. I hated myself and my mom and blurry and every single thing that was out to get me. I wanted to be the person who inspired josh, but that's starts with yourself first. And I can't do that. I stood up and I began pacing again, hoping my mom didn't come in from the noise I was making on the wood. I felt my phone vibrate in my hand and saw the message on the screen.

Josh: I'm here

W: I wish people would text me back like Josh does... shit