Silently Falling in Love: Lucky Charm

Chapter 29 - Old Habits

Anjali paused to control the sobs and then begin.

“You think I’m indifferent and the perfect wife? Then maybe you should have come home a little earlier even one night and you would have seen how I have been sobbing myself to sleep every night.  You would have felt my pillow drenched in tears.  You would have known, I’ve been anything but indifferent.  If you actually saw me during waking hours you’d have noticed I’ve lost so much weight since I’ve come to California, not because of some incredible dance workout, but because I’m so distraught, that eating is an effort.”

I watched her pace the floor.  She screamed out of frustration and then grabbed the first thing off the desk, a coffee table book and threw it across the room.  “I have never claimed to be the perfect wife.  Do you know why I never bring up Josh or anyone else in my past, because I want to leave it in my past.  Because I hate when you have lunch with Christina or Anna calls you to say hi when she’s in New York.  I don’t care that they’ve moved on.  I hate that you’re still in touch with them no matter how infrequently it is.  I don’t keep in touch, hoping that it will give you the hint that I don’t want you to keep in touch with your your exes either!”

“Alex saying I always runaway and I never make the first move – is just wrong.  Always and Never are strong words! I may not yell when I’m not happy with you, but that doesn’t mean I’m indifferent and I’m going to sit around for things to fall into place.  I do make an effort in our relationship and I do sometimes make the first move.”

She took my phone from my hand and punched in my security code which is her birthday and she opened the Notes icon on my phone and then handed the phone back to me.  “Did you even read these?”

September 1, 2013

Alex looks like I have to change with the times and instead of slipping notes in your briefcase, I’m writing you a note on your phone to fit into this now paperless world we live in.

I never see you anymore, so I don’t get the chance to tell you in person that I miss you.  I really miss you! I’m not sure what is going on with us, but I don’t like it.  I can’t tell if it’s something I’ve done or if it’s just the high you’re getting off of working in Silicon Valley.  I’ve been reading as much as I can to understand how this world works, and my understanding is that it’s intoxicating.

Is it so intoxicating that you’ve forgotten about me? Or is it something else?

Our fifteen year anniversary is in two weeks and I know that usually you plan something, but this year I’d like to plan it if you haven’t already set something up. I want to fix whatever is wrong between us.  We’ve made it this far and I want to make it to the end of a lifetime with you.  I hope you know how much I love you!

If I don’t hear back from you, then I’ll assume that you already have something in the works for our anniversary and I’ll save my surprise for later.

Always yours,

Anjali

September 16, 2013

Alex, love, yesterday was our anniversary, but I didn’t hear from you at all.  Are things that bad between us that you didn’t even want to celebrate our anniversary? Please talk to me Alex.

September 23, 2013

You haven’t spoken to me at all and my heart is breaking.  I’m beginning to wonder if there is someone else in your life.  Is the guilt keeping you from talking to me? If there is another woman, I want to know Alex.  I have the right to know.  Please come home during the day so that we can talk about this, I don’t want to discuss this while the kids are home.  Here’s my schedule after dropping off the kids: