Anajli’s POV con’t.

It was five am in the morning and I started to wake up but as I slowly opened my eyes I realized I wasn’t in my own bed.  As I slowly came into consciousness, I heard a man’s soft steady breath on my back and then I realized the weight on me was a man’s arm and a leg.  I started to panic and tried to remember what had happened the night before and who’s bed was I in.  I closed my eyes and started taking deep quiet breaths in to try and remember and calm myself, and then as I was breathing in, the smell of the person next to me was so familiar.  I was with someone I knew – was that good or bad – it could be either.  I decided to open my eyes again and when I did I looked at the arm around me and when I looked at the man’s hand I knew who I was with.  I’d seen those hands a hundred times while I was working at the workshop.  Those were the same hands that had been on me during the photo shoot and last night those hands had been all over my body.  Oh god, and what a night it had been.  The memories came flooding in and I started blushing.  I was glad Alex was still asleep and my back was to him. 

I needed to get out of there before he woke up.  I had never had a one night stand and I couldn’t believe I had just had one.  I needed to be on my own to let it sink in and figure out what this meant for our friendship.  I really didn’t want the morning after talk on how sometimes things happen between friends.  I also didn’t want to do the walk of shame in broad daylight so everyone in my building would figure out where I had been the night before.  So I very carefully, extracted one limb at a time and got out from underneath Alex and quietly got out of bed and found my dress and got dressed.  I looked for my underwear but I couldn’t find it and I couldn’t spend any more time looking for them and risk being caught.  So I quickly walked into the living room found my purse, shawl, and shoes and quietly slipped out the door.  I took the elevator down to the lobby and asked the security guard to call me a cab.  Because it was so early on a Sunday morning and most of New York was still sleeping the cab came quickly and I was home within twenty minutes.

I quickly got home and I walked inside my apartment and gave a sigh of relief.  I shed the dress from night before and took a long hot shower to wash away the guilt from the night before.  As if a shower could erase the guilt and shame.  Is it possible to feel guilty and want more at the same time? Because that’s what I felt.  The sex had been great, but that didn’t mean I didn’t feel guilty and shameful.  After my shower I knew I couldn’t sit at home or my thoughts would eat away at me.  I went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at the art work and get lost in the big museum and escape my thoughts.  Normally, I loved going to the Met.  I would normally pick a section and just spend an afternoon there and at the next visit another section.  Each section, the Egyptian Art, Asian Art, Islamic Art, the Costume section, The Medieval Art and the many other sections or the Special Exhibition could each take you an afternoon.  Rather than trying to do it all in one day, which is impossible if you’re really enjoying the art, I’d pick one or two sections at most per visit.  But, today, I floated from one section to another not really paying attention to what I was seeing.  The only art that got my attention was something that evoked romance or was erotic.  Because that would give me flashbacks from the night before.  Why had I never noticed how erotic art could be? The majority of art had some sexual innuendo to it – damn it.  I can’t believe I’d never noticed it before.  Today none of those paintings looked like art; they all looked like raw lust and sex.  Or was that just where my mind was?

I wondered what Alex was thinking.   Was he relieved that I snuck out and he didn’t have to do the morning after speech?  Had I just saved him from embarrassing me? I wanted to be out all day so that if he called I really wasn’t home to even hear his call.  Because the it’s just sex between friends speech over the phone would be even worse than doing it in person.  So I spent the day at the museum until it closed.  Then I went to dinner at a nice Indian restaurant by myself.  I know I could have called one of my friends, but I was so afraid they would look at me and tell that I had sex the night before.  So in order not to risk it I went to dinner by myself.  Finally I went home at 9pm.  I walked into my apartment and I looked at my answering machine.  The light was blinking.  I stared at it wondering should I hit play or not.  Finally, I realized if I didn’t find out I’d never sleep.  So I hit play and there were three messages.  The first one was from my parents who were in India calling to say that they hoped Katherine and Andrew’s engagement party went well and to please pass their congratulations to both of them and let them know they would definitely be there for the wedding.  The second message was from Katherine thanking me for all of my help and just calling to say hi.  The third message was blank and no one spoke and then just hung up.  Was that Alex or a marketing call??? Well Alex hadn’t left a message if that had been him.  I was relieved right, so why did I feel disappointed.  This is why I don’t do one-night stands. 

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