February –Alex

Christina was working late again tonight so I decided tonight would be the night to speak with my parents.  I steady my hands before picking up the phone to call them. 

On the third ring my mom picks up, “Hello.”

“Hi Mom, how are you?”

“Hi Alex sweetheart how are you?”

“I’m good.  I was wondering if you can get dad on the phone, I’d like to talk to both of you together.”

“Sure dear.” She calls for my dad.

“Hi Amar beta, how are you?”

“Hi dad, I’m good.  How are you?”

“I’m great, I just did a round of golf this afternoon and I beat Colin for the first time! But, I’m sure you didn’t call to hear about my golf game.  What’s on your mind, beta?”

I take in a deep breath before starting, “Mom, Dad, I want to propose to Christina but I want your blessings before I do.”

There’s a long pause before either of my parents speak.

“Amar you’re so young.  What’s the rush? Is Christina pregnant?”

“No dad, she’s not pregnant!” I say irritated that he would even think that.

“Your father’s right, if she’s not pregnant, what’s the rush?”

“Why shouldn’t I marry her, I know she’s the one.  Do you guys not like Christina?”

“Alex we really don’t know Christina, we’ve only met her handful of times.  You really are the one to decide how much you like her and if she’s right for you.  But, even if she’s the right one why do you want to rush into marriage, you just got out of school.  Don’t you want to establish your career and get settled into your professional lives before you embark on marriage?”

“But, both of you were my age when you got married and look how well it turned out for you both.   You were able to navigate your professional and personal lives at such a young age.  Why don’t you think Christina and I can do that?”

“Amar, things are different now.  Your generation is taking longer to decide who to get married to and discussing more things before you actually get married.  We didn’t have that knowledge when we got married and we probably should have thought a little more about our philosophies on life.”

“What’s there to discuss? I’m in love with her and she’s in love with me.”

“Alex, dear, marriage is hard work and how you view money, work, children, religion, etc. all matter in the success of a marriage.”

“But the two of you came from two completely different worlds.  Dad you came from a Sikh farming family in Punjab who chose to leave the family farm to study engineering.  Mom you grew up Catholic in an urban environment and an art major in London and the two of you met, fell in love and made it work and moved to America.  If you can overcome those differences, how hard can it be for Christina and I? We’re both American, we both went to M.I.T.  I mean I know she’s a New Englander and I’m from California so we’re different on the philosophy of life but how different can that really be? It’s nothing that we can’t work out.”

“Alex it’s not about geography, you can be from the same town and not be compatible.  It’s about how you want to live your life? You need to be in harmony on your philosophy of life.  Do you remember Casey? He’s a few years older than you.  He got married shortly after college to his college sweetheart three years ago.  They’re getting a divorce.  We went to their wedding; I thought they were a match made in heaven.  There are rumors there was infidelity involved.”

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