Love Yourz | J. Cole Love Story

Chapter 55 ★

★ Chapter 55 ★

★ Kamiya

One minute I was filled with joy because of my baby boy or baby girl in my stomach the next he or she is gone. I'm filled with so much pain and words can't even express how I feel right now.

The doctor said that I have a incompetent Cervix meaning I can not hold a pregnancy. This is something that could've been fixed with surgery if anyone would've known about it sooner.

Everyone has been silent since yesterday when I lost the baby. Even Alaina's just sitting there staring out into space as she sat in Jermaine's lap.

I can tell he's hurt the most. He hasn't even looked my way since I told him. He stayed the night with me and I could've sworn I heard him cry last night. I had my back towards him so I couldn't really look all I did was gently rub my fingers against his.

I'm just so upset.

"Alaina, honey are you hungry?" My mom asked Alaina and Alaina nodded her head.

"Come on so we can get you some food." My mom said standing up and holding her hand out for her.

"Okay." She mumbled getting up and going over to my mom.

Hand in hand they left with Michael following after them.

That just let me and Jermaine.

I looked at him to see he had his head buried in his hands.

"Jermaine." I said lowly but he kept it head in his hands.

I sighed. "Jermaine." I said again.

He lifted his head up slightly before looking up at me.

His eyes were watery.

"Come here." I said gesturing for him to come sit next to me on the bed.

He followed my directions and came to sit next to me on the bed.

I wiped the tears that fell from his eyes.

"I know you're upset right now and I am too but as long as we have each other things are gonna be okay." I said trying to convince him and myself.

I've never seen him like this and it's heartbreaking. I know how much he wanted a child and being the one who wasn't able to give him one upsets me.

He pulled me into a hug and laid his head on my chest. I could tell he was crying even more now. I just rubbed his back gently.

I began to cry too but silently.

***

I played in his hair as he slept like a baby.

My mom and Michael decided to take Alaina home to give us some alone time plus it's getting pretty late.

One of the nurses said I could get out tomorrow. That kind of made me happy because being in the hospital makes me sad and it's pretty boring.

Hopefully my professor will understand why I'm not gonna be at college tomorrow.

It's been a while since I've went to check on Chanel so I quietly got out of the bed and left the room.

I remember her room number easily so it didn't take me long to get there. She's on a floor up from mine so I had to take the elevator to get up here.

Her room has a window so I stopped to look inside.

From out here she still looks the same as the first time I seen her. I hope she wakes up for Alaina's sake. Even though Chanel doesn't treat her right maybe this would be a wake up call. She needs to change her life around for Alaina.

I then went into her room and sat in the chair next to her bed.

I wonder if anyone else has came to visit like any friends. Knowing her she doesn't even have any friends.

I grabbed her hand and gently rubbed it.

She kind of reminds me of someone I use to know. Cold on the outside, warm on the inside.

"Are you a patient here?" A nurse said coming in startling me.

I turned towards her.

"Yeah, I am." I replied back to her.

"I just wanted to visit a friend." I added in.

"Surprise she even has friends. No one has been here to visit her at all." The nurse informed me.

That made me feel bad.

"Uh yeah. I should be getting back to my room." I told her getting up out of the chair.

She nodded her head. "You should come to visit more often. They say that when someone's here to talk to the patient they listen.It helps them recover faster too." She explained to me.

"I will." I said to her before I went out to the hallway.

I continued walking until I got to a different part of the hospital. It must be the baby part because I can hear little babies crying. I had to stop when I seen a room full of them.

I couldn't stop staring at them. Most of them are crying but there's a few of them that are smiling and giggling. There's this one baby that's in the front who's just laughing away at nothing. I love how carefree they are at this age. Clearly, they don't know anything but still. I miss not knowing anything and being carefree.

Now I'm twenty years old, Behind on school, Taking care of someone else's baby, and I lost a baby.

What a life.

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