Halflings

Chapter Sixty Seven

~ Chapter Sixty Seven: Realization ~

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A few weeks later, Esmeralda sat with her friends, watching silently as wind tussled her hair. She remembered how Merry and Pippin used to pull pranks, and how much fun they had. Now, the look of sadness stained their faces, and their energy to fool around was gone. She remembered Sam's blushing face, and his love for gardening. Now, a new seriousness engulfed him, and he was more quiet. Esmeralda closed her eyes, as she remembered Frodo. How he would take her by the hand, and laugh with her as they went on a silly adventure. Now, depression lingered in his heart, and she rarely could get him to smile. They had witnessed death, and the emotional pain of losing someone. They fought in war, sacrificing their lives for a chance to save Middle Earth. They've all gone though so much, and although their physical wounds were healed, the mental scars will never fade. Somehow, she knew that they would never, truly be happy again, including herself.

Her friends chatted quietly, munching on some treats she baked earlier that day. Her strength was deteriorating, but she still managed to hide her pain with a bright smile. Bloody noses became more common, and she no longer was able to have intimate moments with Frodo. Knitting became a new hobby for her, whenever she had the time. She made Drogo a hat, and Frodo a scarf.

Frodo on the other hand, wasn't taking it so well. He tried to hide it as best as he can, but no avail. Nightmares would constantly haunt him, waking Esmeralda up by the sound of his screams. Then, sometimes when no one was around, he would break down and cry. He would curse himself, and question why these things were happening to him. Although, for the sake of his wife and child, he hid his anger and sadness deep inside.

Merry and Pippin try to look happy, but it's obvious that it's faked. Pippin was a little happier, trying to make jokes, which made Esmeralda smile at his attempt to brighten the mood. Merry was a little more open with his feelings, but tried not to look too sad in front of the Baggins family. Their childish hearts grew into more mature ones, when they saw the reality of the world, and their faces fell when they remembered the fate of their dear friend.

Sam was always one of the more mature Hobbits, although adorably awkward when it came to Rosie. Esmeralda was one of his closest friends, and godmother to his children. Every time the thought of her illness crossed his mind, tears stung his eyes.

Rosie was Esmeralda's first friend who was a girl. It was refreshing for them both to be rid of the boys sometimes. They remembered the times when they would talk about their crushes, and go on picnics. Rosie didn't witness the war, or the death and blood, but she noticed that none of her friends were the same. She noticed that the sparks in their eyes were gone, and a new seriousness took place of their hearts. The thought of losing her best friend scared her, but she was also scared for Frodo.

Lilliana and Ivy were two sisters, who was introduced into the group not long ago. Lilliana was more mature and sweet, and Ivy was more stubborn and rebellious. Esmeralda hadn't known these girls for long, but she knew that they are very special girls, and their hearts were very big. They only knew the rough story of the Ring, but they understood its meaning, and what their new friends did to save Middle Earth. They cried when they found out the fate of their friend, and no doubt will not forget her.

All these thoughts and emotions suddenly came to Esmeralda, as she watched her group of friends. Without knowing, tears started falling from her emerald eyes. Her vision clouded, and she barely noticed when someone hugged her. She cried into the person's shoulder, as they soothingly rubbed her back. She noticed that her friend's chatting stopped, probably staring sadly at her.

"Esmeralda..." Frodo whispered.

She gripped his shirt, suddenly letting out sobs. "I-I can't do this, Frodo."

He rocked her back and forth, glancing up at his friends who held somber expressions.

"They look so sad." She cried. "I-I know they can't help it but..."

She didn't finish her sentence, because her crying choked up her words. Suddenly, everyone in their group embraced Esmeralda and Frodo.

"We love you, Esmeralda." Rosie whispered.

"I-I love you all, too. So-so very much."

After a few minutes, they pulled away. Esmeralda wiped her eyes, and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry."

Merry shook his head. "Don't be."

Frodo wiped hair out from her eyes. "Thank God for that."

She looked at him in confusion. "For what?"

"It was only a matter of time since you finally broke down. I'm glad it was now, instead of later. I'm glad you got those feelings out."

She nodded, before turning to the group again, and smiling.

"I feel better now."

They smiled back, and Lilliana grabbed her hand to give it a squeeze.

On the walk home, Esmeralda's legs gave out. Frodo swung her up in his arms, as she held on to Drogo. Frodo never had trouble picking up Esmeralda, but he could tell that there was a weight difference. She felt about five pounds lighter, but of course Drogo's weight was taken into consideration, so she was probably around thirteen or fourteen pounds lighter. He tried not to panic, as the walked to Bag End. When he was there, he kicked open the door, then walked to their room. He placed her under the blanket, then put Drogo to bed. When he returned, he sat by her side, and held her hand, as tears rolled down her face.

"Frodo..." She whispered. "It's actually happening, isn't it? I'm really going to die, aren't I?"

Frodo said nothing, and pulled her into his embrace. He took deep breaths, as she cried into his shoulder. He soothingly rubbed her back, rocking her back and forth. After a while, she fell asleep, laying limp in Frodo's arms. He gently laid her into bed, then changed. He climbed under the blanket and hugged himself, as a tear rolled down his cheek.