My mistake. - a Vampire Academy fanfiction - (on hold)

I love you

Christian

I figured that Lissa being distant had every bit to do with the lack of improvements on the search for Rose. I understood, at least I was trying to, most of all I wanted her to come and talk to me about how she felt. I wanted the chance to be there for her like before. To hold her in my arms and soothe her crying with kisses and words of encouragement. Which was easy at first, I mean Rose was Rose, I never expected her to still be missing, every day that passed every search party that left more questions than answers took a piece of her smile. It took a piece of my smile, even I missed the witty remarks and temper that came with the girl. The sister you never wanted but got stuck with anyway. I grin at that thought, the girl really got under my skin. So here I was again before the roo' she used to share with Rose before the both of them started sleeping in the new rooms. i know that this is where she's been hiding. It's the one place that allowed her some peace. My heart stung at the thougt that I no longer seemed to bring that peace to her. "Lissa," I knocked softly. "I know that you're here. There's only so many days I can give you without going mental myself." I wait a while, hoping to get a reaction but it stays silent behind the door. "Babe, please... Don't make me burn down this door, you know I will." The silence demands further action and just  as I'm about to torch the place, she appears. Eyes red trying to hold back unshed tears. I pull her into me and grab a hold of the back of her head steadying it against my shoulder. "I'm sorry for avoiding you," she whispers, her voice thick with emotion. "I understand," she starts shaking her head. "You don't. Not all of it... Christian, I-"
I push her chin up with my hand while closing my other arm around her back. My eyes focusing on hers in question. "I came here because this is where we talked, about everything. Our future, our wishes and worries. In many ways Rose was not only my bEst friend but a sister in every sense of the word."
I nod. I know that there's no other friendship like Rose and Lissa'
Lissa pulls away from me as I explain to her that the search for Rose would never end.
"I needed her so much these last couple of days and I realise how selfish that must be knowing that she has a man who loves her and two wonderful children needing her for many reasons more valid than mine but...."
I press my lips against her neck. Hoping to soften her emotional state. "Why did you need her, what about these last days made you doubt me so much that I couldn't be there for you. I mean, I'm no Rose but I love you Lissa. You are what makes me good, what makes me strong. I want to be that for you, especially now."

"I love you," i like that she doesn't feel the need to add the 'too', just I love you.

"I thought I was pregnant. That's why I came here, trying to see if her spirit had some answers for me, some sort of way to make me feel calm again, the way she always used to... I-, I'm so sorry."