She trudged to school chewing her lip and mulling over what Rapmon had said. Maybe Suga was hurting as much as she was. Maybe she should take him back. He had never cried before and now she had hurt him. She was so utterly lost. It was so frustrating, she wanted to cry. Not a sad, oh my god my life cry, a honest to goodness, god damn it why can't I figure this out cry. So she went to the bathroom and did just that. She kicked a few stall doors and the sink a couple times, and in no way did it make her feel any better. She pushed her hair out of her face angrily and stared at herself in the mirror. She was red-faced and she looked angrier than she felt. She sighed and tried to calm herself down. Suddenly, the door opened. She jumped back and wiped her eyes quickly. It was Eunsuh.
"Nari!" She exclaimed, "Oh my god are you okay?" Eunsuh grabbed her shoulders tenderly. Nari looked at her sadly, and told her everything.
Eunsuh hugged her tightly.
"Oh my god! I'm so sorry! I had no idea!" She patted Nari's back softly.
"I just don't know what to do. I realize now that I'm hurt and he's hurt, but I don't want the same thing to happen again. I really, really love him. I'm just...I'm just so scared." She cried into Eunsuh's shoulder. Eunsuh was silent for a long time.
"Well if you really truly love him, you'll put his happiness before your own. If you don't want him to hurt anymore, then take the hurt away. You're the only one with the power to do that."
"Yes, but why should I put his happiness before mine if he's not going to do the same?" She asked.
"That's a risk you have to take. Love isn't a smooth bike ride along the streets of Paris, it's more like climbing up and down Mt. Everest. It's hard, it's confusing, and sometimes you're gonna get lost, but you need to be willing to take those risks." Eunsuh explained.
"But what if I'm not." She breathed.
"Then it's not meant to be." Eunsuh answered painfully.
"But I do love him. I do want him to stop hurting." She murmured into Eunsuh's shoulder.
"Then stop the hurt. Tell him you love him, but if he isn't willing to give his all then it's not going to work out." Eunsuh suggested. Nari shook her head, it didn't sound right.
"It's so confusing. I can't decide between what I need and what I want." Her voice shook violently.
"Maybe they're the same thing. Maybe you want Suga, and you need Suga. You just can't see it yet." Eunsuh murmured softly.
"For once in my life I know exactly what I want, but I just can't have it." She laughed bitterly.
"I think you should at least talk to him." Eunsuh patted her back and pulled away. Nari wiped her tears.
"If I can." She laughed nervously. Eunsuh looked at her sadly.
"Cmon. Let's clean up."
"About the other day, I didn't mean those things I said I was just mad." She murmured.
"I know." Eunsuh continued braiding her hair, "I just...I really like him. It's really annoying he can't see that." She grumbled.
"About that, I told him you liked him." Nari laughed nervously.
"You did what?" Eunsuh let go of the braid angrily.
"It just kind of slipped out when I was yelling at him!" She defended. Eunsuh picked the braid back up.
"I swear. You are the worst." She muttered. Nari giggled.
"Maybe now he'll see how madly in love you are with him."
"I'm not in love. I'm in like. We use that word too freely." Eunsuh muttered darkly.
"Maybe we do, but that doesn't mean it's not true. People love each other in different ways, where it be family or friend. But to be in love with, that's a commitment. And sometimes, people make a mistake and choose the wrong person. People call that carelessness, but it's not. It's just confusion and loneliness. It's rather sad actually." Nari murmured. Eunsuh said nothing.
"Done." She murmured finally and showed Nari the braid.
"Thank you." Nari murmured running her hands along the bands of hair. The bell rang for their next class.
"Are you coming?" Eunsuh asked. She shook her head.
She had other things to do.
