Fifty-Three

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Her mother opened the door of her room.

"It's 11. Do you want breakfast?" She shook her head. Her mother nodded and closed the door softly. She stood slowly. Her bones un-stuck themselves slowly, and her muscles stretched painfully. She hadn't slept all night. She wasn't hungry. She was still trembling. She looked in the mirror. She had raccoon eyes and bags upon bags upon bags. She was so much paler than usual and her ribcage showed through her shirt a little more that it used to. She was already sickly enough. Goddamn Suga. She washed her face and tied up her hair. She went downstairs and gulped down some water. If she was anything besides broken, it was thirsty. Gulping down the water was a bad idea though. Her resoundingly empty stomach rejected the water immediately, and she vomited into the toilet. She flushed the vomit down and looked at her reflection. She wasn't particularly pretty. She hadn't got a good look at the girl Suga was kissing but, she was probably much prettier than she was. Was that why they all cheated on her? She wasn't pretty enough? She wasn't smart enough? She wasn't good enough? She felt her self esteem dropping by the second. Despite all her logic telling her Suga wasn't the only one out there, it was only one opinion. To her, it was the only opinion that mattered. She wanted him back dearly. She wanted his comfort in her pain, she wanted his love in her hate, she wanted his happy smile in her sadness. She wanted him to show her stupid things in his silly way, making the ordinary beautiful and unique. She cried over the toilet bowl. She couldn't stop herself. Despite all logic and reason she wanted to take Suga back. Should she do what was better for her or what she wanted? Was this the true meaning of love? If it was, it was so damn confusing. She stood and washed her face again.

She sat at her window numbly. If she jumped out and died right then, what would Suga say? Would he even care? She curled up into a tight ball and sobbed. She had cried so much already. Suga meant so much. She didn't think she would ever stop. She wanted him back. If he was there at that exact moment, she would take him back. She wouldn't have the power not to. But what if he cheated on her again? What if he hurt her again, like the last one? What if he left her again? What if, what if, what if? She sighed. She shouldn't let herself take him back, but she wanted him back. So which mattered more? What she wanted or what she needed? She was drawn out of her thoughts by the familiar sound of a pebble hitting the window. She turned her head dully and looked out the window. She saw a lean silhouette standing in her backyard. Suga.

She closed her eyes and tears rolled down her cheeks. If only he had been a few moments earlier. Another rock hit the window. She swiftly cracked the window slightly. She wondered if her could see her. She daintily removed her hand from the lock.

"Nari!" He hissed. She sighed softly. She loved the way he said her name. The way his tongue wrapped around the two syllables. Like a burrito. She was too hungry. It was more beautiful than a burrito though. More like the way a bird folds its babies into its wing, or the way water folded into itself. The corners of her lips twitched up.

"Nari! Please!" He pleaded softly and desperately against the rustle of the night breeze. She stood. This was bad for her. She closed the window loudly. She stood for a moment looking down at him. His shoulders slumped dejectedly, and even in his silhouette he looked weak. Weak. A word she had never ever used to describe Suga. Two more rocks hit her window with a tap. She grabbed the curtains on either side and quickly pulled them halfway closed. She stopped abruptly when another rock hit her window. She looked down at his dark figure. She opened her mouth and began to hyperventilate. Tears traced their way down her cheeks. She could swing open her window. It would be so easy. He would be up there in a moment holding her. But did he truly want to hold her? Did he want her back as desperately as she wanted him? The possible answers frightened her too much. Another pebble hit the window. She pulled the curtains closed quickly. She held the curtains closed and tried desperately to see through them. She was trembling too much to open them again, and she was too weak to let them go. There was a pause, then pebbles hit her window in a torrent. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven.

"Stop." She breathed, "Please." She felt her shattered heart break pierce deeper into chest. She let the curtain go and took a few steps back before collapsing and sobbing violently on the floor. She sobbed into the carpet. She wanted her sister. She wanted her mother. She didn't want anyone to see her like this. She wanted Suga. One more pebble hit the window with a soft rattle. Twelve.

Then there were none. None at all.

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(A/N)

summer makes me so lazy. heres an update so i can say i did one thing today lol.

i was wrong {min yoongi}Read this story for FREE!