Don't Quit - A Sophitz Story

46

Biana's POV

I made my way up to my bedroom and changed into pjs. I brushed my teeth and ran a comb through my hair before I flopped onto my massive pink bed. I was considering getting an early night, it was only 10:30, when my imparter went off.

I checked the screen.

1 new message 10:32pm
Ritz Savoury Cracker
Hey, are you up?

Then my imparted pinged again.

2 new messages 10:32pm
Ritz Savoury Cracker
I need some advice

And then one more time.

3 new messages 10:32pm
Ritz Savoury Cracker
It's about the baby...

Oh god. What on earth was going on? I knew this was urgent, so sleep could wait. I opened up my imparter and sent a quick text back.

Ritz Savoury Cracker
Hey, are you up?

Ritz Savoury Cracker
I need some advice

Ritz Savoury Cracker
It's about the baby...

Me
Hey, yeah I'm up. What's going on? Is everything ok?

Ritz Savoury Cracker is typing...

I could feel my nerves setting in. What on earth was happening? Was Soph and the baby ok? Was Fitz ok? Suddenly I was freaking out.

Me
Fitz what is going on?

Me
Fitz talk to me. You're starting to make me worry...

Ritz Savoury Cracker
Bi I don't think I can do this. 

Ritz Savoury Cracker
The whole parenting thing... it terrifies me. I'm going to mess up. 

Ritz Savoury Cracker
I fucking messed up getting Soph knocked up by accident when technically she's still ENGAGED to Keefe. And now I have no idea what I'm doing. 

Ritz Savoury Cracker
I'm going to mess this kid up and then I'm going to lose not only the kid but Sophie too.

Everything was a mess. It hit me with a bit of shock reading something like that coming from my brother. Obviously none of this was planned or ideal, but I thought that they were handling things well. I suppose some people just suffer in silence.

It was breaking me to read that from my brother who I loved with my whole heart.

Me
Fitz, where are you right now? What are you doing?

Ritz Savoury Cracker
Sophie is asleep, I'm in her bathroom

Me
Ok, I'm going to come over. Meet me in by the cliff face around the side... you know the one?

Ritz Savoury Cracker
The one with the big tree? Yeah ok I'll meet you there in a minute

I threw my imparter onto my bed and began to search my wardrobe for something warmer to wear. Then I heard another ping sound from my imparter that was laying discarded on my pink fluffy bed.

Ritz Savoury Cracker
Hey Bi? Thank you for doing this. I love you xx

Me
Anytime, I love you too ❤️

Once I was dressed I rushed downstairs and told my parents where I was heading. 

I think they had guesses what was going on so they both agreed it was a good idea. Mum told me she would let Edaline know what was going on and not to worry as I would be heading over.

Before I left home, I grabbed a few things that I thought might be useful. I said my goodbyes to Mum and Dad, telling them not to stay up late. 

As I hugged my Mum goodbye, she whispered into my ear, "It's ok to hurt Bi, it's going to be ok, Fitz will be ok and you will be ok too. We're strong, remember that, ok?" I gave Mum one final hug to help stop the tears from falling. 

And then with a shaking hand I help my pathfinder up to the light and was whisked away to Havenfield.

When I arrived at Havenfield, I quickly made the short brisk walk to the cliff face. As it was dark the stars and moon were out, illuminating the sea that stirred many meters below. All that could be heard was the sound of the waves crashing against the side of the cliff.

I was the first to be there which didn't surprise me, knowing my brother would take a moment to compose himself before revealing his face to me. 

I found myself a spot to sit and pulled out a soft blanket from my bag, I spread it across the green grass and continued to pull out some of the other things I had brought with myself. Pillows, Mr Snuggles and a lantern with patters cut out of it. It cast a golden glow of dots and swirls across the trees.

Just as I was finishing putting the pillows out, I head the soft sound of feet padding across the grass. 

When I looked up Fitz stood in front of me, eyes puffy from crying and hands stuffed into his pj pants.

As soon as I saw the state he was in, I stood up and wrapped my arms around him. I held onto him as he cried into my shoulder, it was almost like I could feel his heart breaking.

After a moment, he composed himself enough to come sit down. We lay down on the blanket with a second one spread over us. 

I lay with my head on the pillow with an arm around my older brother as his head rested on my shoulder and one arm draped over me, pulling me closer to him.

It hurt me to see him this way. I know how much he had been through in his life and it was fucking bullshit that he had to. I know how much it hurt him every day to live his life as he was, because it was me too.

I pulled Fitz closer to me as I whispered to him. "You are not going to stuff this kid up Fitz. You have so much love to give. You and Sophie will make it through this... ok?" 

I looked down and wiped a tear from Fitz's cheek as it fell. My heart was aching and my chest was tight, it felt like my tears and cries were stuck in my throat, begging to be set free.. I knew what was going on, all along. And I knew why this was all happening today.

"Fitz?" He looked up at me and our eyes met. I knew what he was thinking from the look he gave me, why did it have to be like this? "Fitz, it wasn't your fault. You couldn't stop it from happening, none of us could. As much as it hurts you, hurts us, she would have found a way "

I could feel him tensing as I spoke before I heard a muffled whimper escape him. And that was all it took before the tears started to pour down my face.

We held onto each other and cried for a long time. Reliving the pain and the sadness from those many, many years.

See it was never really about the baby or Sophie or becoming a parent. It was about Lorelai. 

Lorelai Vacker.