MISS FOREIGNSYANA [Under Revision]

CHAPTER 40

Sassy's POV

"He's so powtanginga niya!"

I startled when I heard Joana whom cursing.. in Filipino. Tinuruan ko siyang magtagalog in return of teaching me English. Siya kaya ang pinakaunang tutor ko dito before Mrs. Georgia.

"Ay ma.KA.pal ta.LA.ga! I want to slap that bitch!," hirit niya.

Nanunuod kami ng movie dito sa kwarto ko. The guy was drunk, inside the car together with his workmate. The girl knows that the guy already have a girlfriend yet she still wanted to pursue him. She likes the guy.

She kissed him.. taking advantage of that drunk guy.

"I hate her," Joana mumbled.

"Yeah.."

I don't know why but I suddenly felt this fast heart beating while watching the guy on the movie kissing someone .. which is not her girlfriend obviously. Hindi ko alam kung bakit may kaunting kirot na dinudulot 'yon sa dibdib ko. Bakit parang totoo ang sakit? Siguro ay gano'n talaga kagaling ang acting nila, nadadala ako.

"They act so good, pakiramdam ko tuloy ako 'yong girlfriend no'ng guy e.. ang sakit," I jest. We both laugh.

I tried to feel my heart while placing my right hand on my chest. It's beating so fast, my smiles faded. Bigla kong naalala si Kyle. I glance on the TV, now they're doing that thing only couples should do. Napalunok ako, biglang napalitan ng pamilyar na mga mukha ang mga artistang gumaganap. Im seeing Kyle and Jessica. Mas lalong piniga ang puso ko.

I know that they've been married before I left.. and maybe they already have done that. It hurts thinking that someone's kissing your man, holding him tight.. it should be me. But oh I forgot.. he's never mine.

"It's okay Sassy, we'll get through it," inabot sakin ni Joana and tissue habang nakatutok pa rin ang mga mata niya sa TV. Nagulat pa ako ng mapagtantong umiiyak pala ako.

Iiling iling akong tinanggap ang tissue at tumawa na lang. "This is just a movie, why does it hurt so bad?"

Parang nakakapagsisi ang panunuod ng movie na 'to. Hindi na ako makapagfocus matapos ang scene do'n sa kotse kung saan may nangyari sa kanila ng coworker niya. I can't help but to think about Kyle Vin. It's odd but I can't stop thinking and wondering if after ng kasal may nangyari ba sa kanila ni Jessica. Of course, something happened. What if Jessica is already pregnant?

Napasapo ako ng sariling noo. Nandito ako sa balcony at iniisip pa rin kung ano na kaya ang buhay na meron sina Kyle Vin at Jessica. It's been 2 days after I watched the movie that gave me this thing to overthink. Are they living like a happy couple? Sweet din ba sila sa school?

Natulala ako sa couple na nagsusubuan pa ng pagkain do'n sa table. Again, I'm starting to see Kyle Vin and Jessica's face. Napahigpit ang pagkakahawak ko sa coke in can. Nayupi ang lata at bumulwak ang laman nitong coke. Napalingon sa'kin ang ilang students sa cafeteria. Nang mapasulyap ang couple na tinitignan ko ay saka lang ako bumalik sa wisyo. Patakbo akong lumabas ng cafeteria.

"Amara!'

Hindi ko nilingon ang tumawag sa'kin. Im walking fast in the middle of the hallway. Pakiramdam ko nababaliw na ako sa araw araw na kakaisip kay Kyle at Jessica. Hindi ako mapapalagay hanggat wala akong natatanggap na balita tungkol sa kanila.

"Amara, wait!"

Bigla nalang may dumaklot sa braso ko. Napahinto ako at kasabay ng paglingon ang pagsalubong ng nag aapoy kong mga mata sa kaniya.

"Oh.. wrong timin', isn't it?," Austin let go of my arms. I sigh. He chuckles while looking at me, both hands on his hoodie's pocket.

"What do you want?," masungit kong tanong.

"Hmm.. nothing," he shrugged. Wala naman pala e.

"I need to go," tatalikod na sana ako pero muli niya akong pinigilan.

"Hold on, I saw you running from the cafeteria. What happened?" Hindi ako tumugon. Tinignan ko siya ng diretsyo sa mga mata. Wala akong nararamdamang kakaiba, hindi tulad ni Kyle na sa tuwing magkakatitigan kami ng mata sa mata.. ang puso ko naghuhurumintado na ng sobra. Hinahanap ko ang pakiramdam na 'yon ngayon dahil pagod na akong isipin siya. Gusto kong maramdaman 'yon sa iba.. siguradong hindi lang siya ang makakapagparamdam no'n sa'kin. Kailangan ko na siyang kalimutan, masaya na sila.

"Are you okay?," mahinang tanong ni Austin. I saw how his thick brown eyebrows furrowed in agitation.

".. hays okay ako," pilit akong ngumiti.

A playful smirk drew on his pierced lips when his eyes went down on my hand whom holding the crushed coca cola can. Napakunot ang noo ko.

"You seems to be in a bad mood today, aren't you?," he asked.

"Halata ba?," I mumbled without looking at him.

"You know that I don't understand Filipino," he fake a smile.

Magsasalita pa sana ako nang biglang may humila sakin sa braso. The next thing I knew is that I'm standing behind kuya Grey. Kasama niya Ang tatlo pang kaibigan. Actually, they're 5. Austin, kuya, Leo, Chris, and Jeff. All of them looks wild and you'll know in one glance that these guys will tore your heart into pieces the moment you get close to 'em. Si kuya lang yata ang walang tattoo nor piercing sa kanilang lima. Of course, mama and papa will probably kill him if he try to have one.

"We talked about it," kuya said looking at Austin.

"Talk about what?," mapang asar pa itong tumawa.

"Don't test me, Austin Williams," sarkastikong ngumiti si kuya. Mabilis na napasulyap sa'kin si Austin bago muling tumingin kay kuya.

"Don't take it seriously, I'm not breaking the rules," he tapped kuya Grey's shoulder.

Sometimes I just don't understand them. They talk about stuffs I don't literally understand. Tama nga talaga si mama, h'wag akong magsasasama dito sa kanila. I left them unannounced. Iniwan ko na sila at pumunta nalang sa klase ko.

I try to distract myself from thinking about.. Kyle. Bakit ba palagi ko siyang naiisip? Madalas ko din siyang nakikita sa mga taong nasa paligid ko.
I'd lie if I say that I don't miss him but if I do? Magmumukha naman akong tanga. Why do I keep on hoping and missing someone who's literally living their best lives without me? Minsan ba naiisip din niya ako? Naaalala niya pa kaya ako? Umalis akong ako ang mahal niya.. ngayon kaya? It's almost a year since we haven't seen each other. You know what scares me? It's the idea of being able to meet each other again.. and at that moment I'm still in love with him but guess what? He doesn't love me anymore.