Tale of Zainab(Completed)

epilogue

ZAINAB

Looking back in time if anyone told me I do move on I would swear that it is a lie but I do, I believe everything in life is possible we are in control of our emotions or so I thought because 6months later I still find myself indecisive about what Is right and wrong, dropping my phone on the dinning table I sigh and facepalm, amina and her husband are on vacation but we are always in contact they are pretty much happy with there life everything seems to work out for them, for myself all I can say Alhamdulilah, kamal is attending one of the best university in town, Raliya on the other hand who rather seems less interested about school focus on running Amina's business Ammar enroll her in a business class that will last for 6months and she could get her certificate and have more knowledge about the business world, me there"s really nothing exciting going on in my life, well, except for the fact that I"ve been seeing Ammar uncle suleiman, he is really a sweet guy and all, very social and doesn't care much about peoples opinion, he is caring and have all the attribute I would want in a man but I feel I am not just ready, he kept on bringing about marriage but in was clear to him that I"m not ready, I know and i'm certain am over Ammar but i really don't know, i just have this phobia when it comes to commitment, Amina personally took me to this psychologist but im certain i don't need that so i didn't bother going back, my phone beep and i look down not really surprise to see a message from suleiman, letting me know he is on his way to take me on a date which wlh by Allah im not looking forward to, not because i don't want to but today i just wake up extremely down an moody,

  its not even up to 20 minutes there was a knock on the front door with a heavy sigh i stand up and adjust the gown i'm wearing and head for the door, i open and look up at the man im now used to seeing, suleiman isn't exactly my ideal man when it comes to looks, his scruffy beard certainly isn't one to droll for, the heavy eyebags that gives his eyes a perfect sleepy looks and those brittle eyebrows all aren't really my thing but his personality is certainly one to have every lady wrapped around his fingers.

"what's with the grumpy face i thought you were excited about this yesterday, it was your idea."he say closing the door behind him and stare at me observantly, i look away and walk back to the dinning area where i was sited before,

"zee what happened?"he ask and drag one of the chairs and sit.

we have had issue for sure in this relationship mostly the fault are mine and suleiman insecurities, him in his mind the reason to why i don't want to marry him is because i still have feelings for ammar which is absolute ridiculous, sure there are days where my mind on it own wander back to the good ole days at ammar house other days i even think of possibilities of the what ifs and had it been, but i believe is natural for anyone to do so, suleiman brought up about marriage 2weeks into dating i decline because i wasn't ready him on the other hand wanted to marry me and leave the country with him, i decline and now 3months later he is still here hanging around hoping to marry to leave, his fixed date after dates to leave and maybe try the long distance relationship thing but it is evident he is not a fan of distance relationship.

"Zainab."he call and take a deep breathe, he massage his temples a habit i noticed he do whenever he is stressful.

"do you or do you not love me?"he ask staring at me and is stay quiet knowing where the conversation is headed and how it would end.

"i am 54 years, i ain't a small child, so are you, we are both adults inn a serious relationship i believe by now we both know what we want, i do zee i know what i want with you but do you?  i have been in this country for the past 90days doing same thing, i told i ab life over there but if you don't want i can move back to be with you, they say love is all about sacrifices and if that's the only way to be with you i wouldn't mind sacrificing all that and left it behind, beside this is my home, where i belong to, but neither do you agreed nor decline i am just here with you not really sure wether what we share have a future......'he facepalm and sigh.