Going UPWARDS

50

Around 8 I finally woke up to find me in between my daughter and Maur hugging me.

Baby girl and Maur wake up. I need to use the restroom and will wait for you two to use it too. I than need to tell you something .

Jane got up and went to the bathroom.

Mom do you know what she wants to discuss with us? I have no idea baby girl.

Jane returned than Maura went than I did.

You two I need to finally tell you what is causing these nightmares. Maur do you know how I would talk in my sleep about a male named Jarrod. Yes but none of us wanted to bring it up until you were ready to tell the three of us.
He was a son I aborted. I named him Jarrod Rizzoli. He was Hoyt's son. I wanted Julianne to have a sibling but knew it was unfair to him. I would always resent him. Mom I would of had a little brother all this time. Yes baby girl. Kim was hypnotizing me and she noted the name in her notes . Maria asked me who he was. I finally told her. I told her the next night mare about Hoyt for her to tell my wife. I wanted you three to know first. I will do a text to family only not their spouses. I don't want anyone else knowing not even your spouses. Jane I will keep this secret even from my wife. Me too mom. Thank you. Jane are you going to be able to go to Italy in a few days? Yes but would like Maria to come with me. You got it. I will let Sasha know it's imperative you continue with your sessions with her. Thanks Maur.

We held onto my mother as she and us cried. I knew this wasn't an easy decision growing up catholic the way she did. I always wanted a sibling. This was why Olivia and Avery were close to me.

Let's get up take showers says my other mother. I want to get all in a group text first. We will stay with you J. Yes mom what mom said.

Jane got her cell.

My cell dinged.

It stated I gave something to text you all but it cannot be told to anyone even your spouses. If you don't think you can do this, please opt out of the group text.

It was Saturday morning. Everyone stayed in the group.
My wife,,baby girl and Maur know as well as Dr. Maria Bella who I am seeing. I had a bad nightmare about Hoyt. Maur and Julianne are with me as I write this to you all . Hoyt got me pregnant. I had an abortion. I name him Jarrod Rizzoli. He would of been baby girls younger brother. I just knew I would of hated him knowing he was part of Hoyt. Maria will be going with Eric, baby girl and myself on Monday for Italy. Please don't discuss this with no one not even with the family. I am afraid others will hear you. I know I sinned by aborting him. This is just another cross for me to bear. Well I am hungry and smell bacon.
Love you all.

I ended the text.

No one said anything which they followed my directions.

We left the bedroom after we took quick showers.

Hmmm who cooked this spread? I did Jane. Thank you Emily. Lisa told me to go ahead.

There was bacon, pancakes with blueberries in it,scrambled eggs. Yogurt with cut up fruit on the side as well as coffee and apple juice.