Rearranging Fate | Tokyo Revengers x OC

119 • Empty Trigger

A big part of her heart was filled with love, that was what people used to tell her. They also used to tell her how that love suffocated the rest of her heart.

Reina never liked the idea of love, so she never admitted that they were right. But whether she admitted or not didn't matter. Reina had always loved too easily, and when she loved, she turned blind.

Deep down, she knew that.

But Reina did love the people she chose to love, whether it be Victoire, Harui, or even Ryou. They may have used her, most in more ways than one. But she did love them, some more than others. The point was that there was a place in her heart for them, and their deaths left her heart feeling empty, no matter how many misfortunes they had brought her.

If she could turn back time, she would still go to Victoire, she would still love Harui, and she would still turn a blind eye to them using her. That was how much Reina loved them.

"It's strange," she muttered to the sky, lifting her hand to her chest. "I should be feeling something, right?"

"Boss?"

"I can't feel anything, Rui."

She felt empty like there was something missing within her. But she couldn't pinpoint what was missing. She just knew that there was supposed to be something there. It was cracked and shattered here and there, held together by nothing more than hope and desperation, but it existed.

It was there.

It used to be there.

If it was missing, shouldn't she feel angry because it was gone? Shouldn't she feel angry with the people who took it from her? If that was the case, then why couldn't she feel anything? Why did she feel so lost and empty? She'd rather be exploding in a fit of rage like an erupting volcano, not feeling hollow as if she had the whole universe in her hands and there was nothing more to her life.

She wanted to feel something real.

"Boss? Boss? Reina!" This was bad. Kokonoi didn't know what had set Reina into a muttering spree, but this was fucking bad. The fight was still ongoing, so at this rate, a real bloodbath might happen, and it wasn't one they planned on happening.

From the very start, Rokuhara Tandai and Brahman were meant to be conquered and destroyed, then absorbed into Ryujin for disposable manpower. "A good player knows how to use all the pieces on the board, only killing the absolute necessary. Needlessly losing pieces, my own or not, is a failure to me." Or so was what Reina said, or so was what Victoire had told her. That was why none of them brought sharp or deadly weapons. Because nobody was supposed to kill or be killed.

Then again, Harui and Mirai weren't supposed to get involved, and Harui wasn't supposed to die.

Crouching beside her, he noticed her hands that were still wrapped around Harui's neck were clawing her own skin, and he immediately let her grab onto his hand as her head lolled from side to side, garbled mutters leaving her mouth, incomprehensible even to him.

"Hajime." Finally, his name came out in a whispered gasp, and her eyes met him, looking duller than before. "How long do you think I can stay in denial?"

"As long as you need." Because he sure as hell spent a lot of time in denial over Akane's death, whether it was in the form of money or Inui. "Even if you stay in denial forever, I know four people who will still stay by your side, me included." She wouldn't be alone, and Kokonoi squeezed her hands in assurance. "So, it's okay...it's okay to stay still for a moment, we'll move for you."

Right. There were people who knew her goal and thus, understood her actions. Even if Reina wanted to shove them away and demand they live in the light, she couldn't deny it was nice to know that she wasn't alone in the dark. As selfish as she would be, Reina didn't want to be alone. She didn't think she could go on alone, even if she also knew she had no choice but to go on.