The Cursed Love

CHAPTER 34 Spy

JAMES'S P.O.V

I couldn't think. My mind was numb, and my eyes hurt from resisting tears. I left dad's room without saying anything and stormed straight into mine, or at least that was mine. I didn't know what to say. Whatever he told me wasn't what I was ready for. Had I been wrong for all those years? Did I punish him for something he never did? The thought of all these things hurt my brain. All I needed was someone to tell me what to do. In my life there was a time when I was helpless but I grew from it. I overcame everything but now after years I feel like the same James 7 years ago crying on the floor not knowing what to believe and what to not. I felt stuck in an endless loop. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. The only one I needed in that moment was Grace. Only I knew how much I missed her in those moments. She was my biggest strength and I knew I would get past it. I closed my eyes and whispered her name. I said to myself that I had to deal with everything. It was the only way I could save my love.

And she really did her magic again. It was tempting to call her, hear her voice, but I knew I wasn't in a state to talk. I didn't want her to be stressed out since she was already dealing with a lot at the time. Grace reminded me of my mother, as pretty as she was, strong, loving, her calm voice as soothing as hers, and caring like no one else in this world - now I have another link from the Callope family.

She was like a guardian angel for me when I passed through my darkest moments. I felt so blessed to have her in my life, and for her I needed to stay strong. Many men hide their emotions from their women but I was not afraid to show her my vulnerability. I felt safe and secure in her presence, and I knew she would never judge me for my weaknesses. Though I knew she never liked seeing me in pain, just as I don't like her in pain. And that's what true love is.

As I processed all the thoughts I concluded that I needed some time, which, of course, I lacked. However, what I knew was that my dad wasn't totally wrong but not absolutely right. The way my mother was treated in the palace which he said he couldn't do anything about was not a way to love. Regardless of the circumstances, women should always be treated with respect and love. I realized that there was more to life than just following the rules and that sometimes, it was imperative to stand up for what was right.

As I gained the courage to confront my father again, the door behind my back creaked open. Without looking back I knew who was there, my father. There was no way anyone could ignore his huge body, which filled the air completely. As I stood up, I turned around and faced him. There he was standing at the door frame, his jade eyes swollen with tears. His voice cracked as he asked for my forgiveness, and I could see the pain and sorrow on his face. I felt my own eyes fill with tears as I embraced him in a hug. We stayed like this for a while, until the silence was broken by his obvious question "does this mean you forgive me son?"

" Partially. I need more time Dad. "  I said with a voice choked with emotions. I could see a tear sliding down his cheek. He nodded and hugged me again. We both knew I wasn't ready to fully forgive him yet, but we both knew it was a start.

He held my hand and both of us sat on the bed. It was quite surprising to find that even after years, the room had been clean and maintained properly. Everything was clean and arranged as it was. He pulled a frame from the nightstand I made as a child. It was a picture of me, my dad,and my mom.

" James, I came into this room everyday and looked at everything that belonged to us and yearned to move back in time. I longed for us to live as a happy family. I wanted to turn back the clock and fix all my mistakes. But I soon realized that I could never undo what had happened. It was something I would have to live with for the rest of my life. I wanted to hug both of you and never let you leave out of my arms. "