Fixing Noah / Finding Noah - #ForNoah | +18 | BWWM

27 | He Made me Coffee - Part 1

"I.." But Noah stopped talking and didn't say more. His hands were moving and even in the car, it felt like he had something to tell me. "About earlier..." I wasn't sure which earlier. We'd had so many conversations, but his anxiety was worrying me. The more he searched for words, the more worried I got. But not a bad worry...

"Noah, is it important?" I asked him.

"Yes," he nods.

"Will it upset me?" I try to work it out what is behind it.

"Yes," he nods again. Worry built in me.

"Let's shelve it for now. When you are ready to tell me, tell me. I trust you, but your hands are moving." I didn't want to call attention to his hands. But he also wasn't hiding it from me. Any autistic tick he hid when we first met as much as possible until he trusted me. Then, when we broke up, he hid it all even harder, to the point of drawing blood in his palms. But he wasn't hiding anything from me. Noah was in much of a place of trust as I was for him. When he was ready, he'd tell me.

We had a long conversation about everything under the sun. His boats, his art, and his family. He didn't talk tons, but it was more than he had ever before. When he wanted to talk about something, that was upsetting for him. Having the trust to tell him I could wait for him to talk to me about it when he's ready. The smile slipped back in as if it couldn't be stopped. Overall, we had been in such a good place.

"You know I love you so fucking much. You are my Neptune, Noah." One of my hands left the mug and leaned forward to touch my warm hand against the side of his rough cheek. "I love you."

He nods at my words, standing straighter. Then turns into my palm against his cheek. And I knew finally, he accepted that it was the truth. Absolute, unchangeable truth. For me, I'd always love Noah simply like that, and I think he finally understood. Sometimes men think we can be a blank slate for them. Walking into another relationship clean isn't possible. An instantly flick a switch and be a ready model new car for them. That just isn't how life works. We bring our scars, and just like the pretty parts, that's what makes us who we are. For Noah he was new for me but in his own way he had so far to come to get to this point same as me. I was glad he finally fully accepted my love even a tiny bit back. Even if he couldn't return the words from me. I took a step back from him, bringing my hands to the warm mug and taking another sip.

"Thanks for the coffee, Noah," I say with a broad smile around my cup. He nods again but with a warm smile at me, which is more of his cuteness today.

"Be careful on the back roads. A storm is coming." I look up at the sky and he's right, the storm clouds rolling dark against the blue sky. Not clumping up yet, but it was coming. Then heads for my door again today without too much fanfare. We both had stuff to do today, but I kind of wish he stayed longer. Not for more, but just because I enjoyed him in my space that he was too big for. I liked him next to my plants, peering into the pots like I did beautiful black magic to keep them alive. The kind that the hoodoo women would do with their hands. Thrusting their dark buttered hands into the inky black earth. Giving life to the dead lands like those old stories. Where butter up wise women made worlds with black magic and hope in a land of lemons and salt.

I love the way he saw my little home. The way he viewed every inch as if this little place was holy. A man of so few words but speaks so god damn loudly. But my house plants were half on him at my tiny sink. Noah almost hit the ceiling standing in my kitchen. I was dipping halfway to the brand new thermos he filled with coffee already. He just gave it to me, plus more for later before he left. For the second time today, I watched Noah leave my little home with a smile. Hoping that someday he'd come again to my home.

Leaning against the doorframe of my door, watching my man go down the apt stairs. MY MAN! The words were so fun in my head and kept watching that fine ass in those poured on work jeans go down my stairs. I took a slow sip of my coffee and attempted not to do the happy dance against my door frame. Part pole dance, part coffee party, all happy dance, but I kept it to myself.

He wasn't that far away from his truck, with Maurice sitting on the passenger side. Black Kryptonite waved at me Zoey's little car parked out front for me. I was running out of stairs to watch his ass. He had things to do. An interview coming up for his art that was donated to the Los Angeles County Museum of Art by one of his patrons. It was a big fucking deal. It opens the door for a modern artist to appear in art museums around the world very easily. I was so proud of him. Hell, I'd really like to be proud of him with him and me on my kitchen counter. The sex greed was talking; he had stuff to do.

Noah stopped at the bottom of the steps. He was frozen, and I kept waiting for Noah to head to the truck and drive off. Then he turned around and raced back up the stairs. And he stopped to kiss me deeply, smiling into the kiss. Every bit of me stood to attention for his man as he owned my mouth. Feeding my little moan into his lips. I chased his tongue into his mouth, playing back and forth with him until the honk ended our kiss.

"Cock blocker," I yelled at Black Kryptonite.

"Sorry, I'm on a break from the firehouse." He yelled back with a laugh.

I watched Noah race down the stairs and drive away with his friend. I stood outside my door with my coffee and watched that car go. Already sad to see the small speck of the truck in the distance.

A/n: thank you so much for reading. We are inching closer to the end. Yall, digging the coments and keep them coming.