crazy in love {completed}

chapter fifty-nine

~maddy lively~

I pull my cardigan around my body tighter trying to shield myself from the blasting wind that's blazing through the air, walking along the graveyard coble stone until i finally reach the two people i desperately want advice from.

looking over at the gravestones of the two women i had left in my life i sit down against the wall its crazy to think that last time i sat against this wall only one of the two graves where full now that im sat here again both are graves are full.

what am i going to do with my life now. my phone rings and i pull it out looking at the name on it, deigo i smile slightly and click the green button making contact with him.

'hey mads how was prom?' he questions and a slight slur cascades through his voice, 'deigo are you drunk?' i question giggling slightly he scoffs 'what no of course not im actually very sober' he mumbles the last bit and my smile instantly grows, 'what are you doing right now? where are you?' he asks and i just look forward at the devastating scene infront of me. 'im sat on some cold cobblestone looking at kayla and my mom while contemplating what to do with my life, what about you?' i question him and its silent.

'deigo?' i question not liking when the phone call goes silent not since the last time. 'so your at the cemetery' his heavy breathing picks up and my body fills with nerves, 'give me two minuets' he says before i hear the hum signaling for the phone to end. i pull the phone away from my ear before putting it back into my pocket.

just sitting here is nice spending time with them even though i cant physically hold them its nice to know i can vent here without the judgement. a twig snaps next to me making my head shoot to the gate that is opening.

my wariness subdues when i see the familiar looking boy walk through the gate. i let out a big huff, he walks over to me sliding down the wall next to me. i see his eyes scan over my outfit and i catch myself doing the same, hes wearing a black suit with a black shirt a few to many buttons undone at the top exposing his cross that dangles from him neck also his watch catches my eye, it glistens under the light.

''oh look we are matching'' deigo says excitedly definitely intoxicated, i laugh loudly at his childish grin. ''how did prom go did you dance with your dog of a boyfriend'' he asks and i just look forward, i feel comfortable around deigo enough to talk to him without the fear of judgement and hes still alive. ''actually we broke up'' i admit and he just looks at me for awhile until he shakes his head, ''why'' i turn my head towards the graveyard ''he was mad at me that i didn't have a plan for my future, and honestly i didn't think i would make it to the end of the day let alone years later when im actually going to move into collage, its all just complicated right now i guess he couldn't handle it'' i rant on about my day as he just sits there and listens.

''i think he couldn't handle the fact that not everyone comes from the posh side of town'' he says and i laugh slightly at the similarities in our points, he hands me the bottle of rum he was drinking from earlier, ''you need this'' he says and i nod at him gratefully before grabbing the bottle our fingers running over each others for a moment before the cold bottle slips into my hands.

i bring the liquid up to my lips taking a swag before placing it on the floor. ''if it makes you feel any better i dont have a plan either'' he admits and now its my turn to just sit and listen to him, ''its hard to find something your passionate about when you live the lifestyle we do, i mean we both had to literal fight to survive, and making money is always difficult so its not like we could just leave this place and never come back'' i nod my head in understanding.

''would you change it?'' he looks up at the stars in the sky, ''change what my life?'' questioning this makes him hum in response, ''as crazy as this sounds no probably not just because i wouldn't have ever met you or damon and kane i wouldn't have met my girls and i would never have guessed to even walk into that gym if i wasn't pushed into it, obviously there are loads of things i would change but i dont think i would ever start again'' i admit making him look at me.