crazy in love {completed}

chapter three ~

~maddy lively~

My breath hitched in my throat, i put my car into drive and speed in the direction for the hospital, my body full of adrenaline.

Aliyah {step-mom}

Maddy come to the hospital now, they managed to save him..

please be quick hun hes asking for you x

read the second text that has come through hes asking for me i wonder what he wants to say. i turn into the car-park of the hospital. i get out of my car and run to the front entrance of the hospital, running as fast as my legs could take me.

Aliyah already messaged me the room number so i just run there instead of having to go through all that trouble at the front desk. i finally got to room 309 and i stopped to breath, and prepare myself for what im going to see, i took a deep breath and grabbed the doorknob pushing it open.

i saw everyone's heads turn to me but i wasn't focusing on them i just wanted to make sure jay was ok , i walked over to his hospital bed making sure not to step on the wires that where coming out of his body. seeing him like this broke me and i tried to hide it but before i knew it warm- tears where streaming down my face.

jay opened his arms motioning for a hug i gladly accepted and wrapped my arms around his neck lightly, after about two minuets of just appreciating that he was still here and alive. i let him go and sit in the chair the nurse had gotten me.

'' can you give us a minuet'' jay says to his mom and my dad they both just nod and walk out of the room gently closing the door behind them. a feeling of worry rushes through me, is he about to tell me something important?, i will try help the best i can i need to make sure nothing like this happens again.

''you ok'' he questions i furrow my eyebrows how can he even ask that my own brother just tried to commit suicide ofcorse im not going to be ok. '' im abit confused and worried at the moment if im going to be honest with you jay'' i reply and he just nods his head in understanding

''what did you need to talk to me about'' i question fiddling with my hands in my lap, i hear him shuffle abit in his hospital bed and i look up to see him with a small box in his hands i look at it for a second '' this is part of the apology'' he says handing me the box, i take it and remember what hes doing.

when my brother dose something wrong he always buys me a gift to make up for it, i remember that time he went out to a party with his friends and i stayed up waiting for him to get home safe. when i had finally fell asleep he came into my room and was stumbling all over the place, i opened one eye and saw him put a box onto my desk and walk out again. when i woke up the next morning there was no actual apology it was just the gift i ended up just putting it into the bottom of my closet and leaving it there.

i guess its his way of apologizing without actually saying sorry. then i realise what's happening right now he think im mad about him doing what he did, Jesus being mad is the last word i would use for my feelings right now. im more worried and concerned then mad why would i be mad at him the only thing im mad about is that i didn't see it sooner and i let him go yesterday. jay has struggled with addiction in the past so its not like there wasn't any signs.

i place the box on the table unopened by the way not excepting his waste away gift to try and buy forgiveness that he thinks he dosent have there is nothing to forgive he didn't feel like he could talk to anyone and obviously by the out come its just shown us that we all need to do better.

'' jay i don't need some stupid gift and you shouldn't be apologizing to me im not even mad at you im more concerned and worried about you'' i say grabbing his hand rubbing the back of it with my thumb, '' you shouldn't feel obligated to talk to anyone about your feelings but you should feel secure enough to know you have people to talk to and i want you to know i am one of those people you can talk to'' i say and he nods his bottom lip trembling in pain, ''im not going to ask you to promise me that you will never do this again because relapse's and accident's happen but i am going to ask you to promise me next time you feel this low talk to me instead'' he nods tears running down his face. ''can you promise me that?'' i question my voice breaking slightly. ''yes i promise you maddy and i love you'' he says and i smile hugging him again.

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short chapter today sorry alots going on i might update later on today, hope all of you are having a good day/ night xoxo

make sure you look after yourself and drink loads of water.

.k.