crazy in love {completed}

chapter fifty-four

~maddy lively~

I park up my car across the street from my destination, i get out making sure my hood is up even though its dark i dont want this getting back to my dad or the people around here, i walk up the steps slowly trying to control my breathing.

my hand connects with the yellow tape that's place along my moms front door and i run my fingers over it, deciding not to break it i let go and walk through the back way. i send a kick to the back door and it flies open, stupid old door i walk into the house closing the door on my way in.

my eyes scan over the tidy house, how there are no dishes in the sink or bottles on the floor how there is a vase full of newly placed roses, pink ones she loved pink ones i take a seat on the couch and lean back, the eerily warm feeling in the house is somewhat comforting. my eyes drop to the wall where her boyfriend man handled me because the school called about bruises they caused. and even now when you cant see those bruises vividly i still have them till this day.

i remember little me sat there bawling her eyes out because of words her mother said to her. It wasn't the hitting that scared me, well obviously i was afraid i was ten but it was more that my mother could stand there and watch she could have him in the house the next day like nothing happened she could let him fuck her knowing he abused her own daughter. but then again there has never been a time where she brought someone home and they didn't try anything with me.

deciding to get up i walk into the kitchen, i run my fingers along the counter top, when i was little before my dad left her, i would imagine having a relationship like theirs where they would cook in the kitchen together and he would hold her from behind or were they would dance in the refrigerator light at 3 in the morning.

I used to picture myself in her place with my own husband and some kids. until it had its downfall and i truly never wanted to love again. i remember coming down one night to get a glass of water and over hearing her new boyfriend on the phone, he was talking about how much of a good fuck my mom was and how he wanted to try it with me and kayla. i lost it i remember walking in there and smashing a glass bottle over his head. obviously not thinking of the consequences of my actions, since i was only 12 and he was 28 it didn't make much of a difference. i got a couple of good shots in but i had just started getting into boxing at this point and i didn't know any moves or how to control my punch properly, lets just say after that i couldn't sit down for weeks.

i walk through the kitchen and to the hallway where all the photos are kept, pictures of me and kayla on walks when we where babies, a picture of me winning my fist swimming competition, a picture of kayla winning her first spelling bee. i giggle slightly at her face in that one picture she looks so embarrassed since me and my dad where cheering her on loudly. a picture of me and mom cooking cookies in the kitchen that my dad must have took because i dont remember being shown this. i look at the smile on my moms face in that photo and i feel the tears try and come through but i blink them back not ready to cry yet.

i grab all of the pictures and put them into my bag i dont care that the police will know someones been here i dont care if they find out its me i just want some good memories of the women who it seems i only have bad. my phone buzzes into my pocket and i pull it out seeing my dad calling me.

'hey dad whats up?'

'hello mads i was just wondering where you are because im sure school has finished by now missy'

i giggle slightly to myself at his playful but serious voice this man is so infuriating.

'im just picking up my prom dress i will be back in about an hour since they are busy as hell'

'ok dont be to long its family movie night remember'

' i promise i will make it in time'

'okay maddy love you'

' i love you to dad'

i end the phone and carry on my journey in the house. my legs make there way up the stairs and im faced with more pictures, these ones with a much older kayla and a much older me, ones from when i won my first fight and ones when kayla passed her end of year exams before she started high school.

i grab those and place them in my bag to. suddenly a loud bang fires from downstairs. i crouch down at the top of the landing. ''where are you Clare!'' someone shouts firing the gun again, i slowly crawl to my room since its the only one with a working lock on it. i quickly slip into my room closing it as quietly as i can, pressing the lock down as i lean back against the door the gun fires again and i jump coving my mouth to stop the yelp from coming out.

i dont know why but even since that night with my mom ive been more scared of things i never used to be scared of, like for example gun shots. it fires again but this time its closer to me. they must be upstairs. i cover my mouth as the tears flow down my cheeks and into my hands. please not today, today cant be my day to die. i hear a door crash open and it must me my moms or kayas room door.

''no ones here!'' one of them shouts and as i think they are going to leave, one of them says. ''wait there is a lock on this door'' my stomach drops and i quickly move away from the door and run over to the window, i try and pry it open but it dosent budge, its locked ,fuck! i hear banging on my door and i quickly run into the bathroom. something i noticed last time i was here was that my shower curtain had changed it was now a deep black colour that you couldn't see through, perfect.

i quickly get behind it and make myself as wedged into the wall as i can. my breathing echo's in the room and i cover my mouth shut the fuck up maddy the door crashes open and i freeze. ''whos room is this?'' one of them questions as a crash flows through the air, ''this is Maddy's shes clares oldest daughter'' one of them clarifies and i squeeze my eyes shut as i hear foot steps approach the bathroom. ''how old?'' one of them questions the other hums. ''im not sure i think about 16 or 17 but i wouldn't play with her'' he says making one of the guys laugh. ''what is she going to do, if shes anything like her mom the only thing she can do is offer herself as a bargain'' my teeth seethe together, angry about the way they are talking about her. ''dude have you seen maddy fight im not scared of anyone but that girl can punch'' he says and i smile slightly so they know of my hobbies.

''Clare always kept this door shut for some god knows reason no one was allowed in here not even herself'' i listen to the conversation airily not really bothered about that. what i want to know is why did my mom not let anyone in here, whats she hidden in my room. suddenly the shower curtain gets pulled back and i freeze again. i suck in my stomach to try and make me as small as possible a couple of minuets go by of one of the men just standing there. ''lets go boys no one is here'' he says and walks out of the room but not before saying. ''dont worry we will get our money one way or another'' before i hear their footsteps cascade down the stairs and out the door slamming it shut.

i let out the breath i was holding but i comes out more of a chocked cry. god what the fuck is happening i came here wanting closure just to end up hiding in a bathroom from some guys who are after my mom and they know who i am. i climb out of the shower and walk out of my room, seeing Kayla's door open i walk to it. my eyes peer into the room and see that's its trashed. i walk over and pick up her favourite shirt that's been just thrown on the floor. i bring it to my nose and inhale the sweet vanilla scent she always used to use. i open my bag that's full of pictures and put some of Kayla's fragile stuff in there, stuff i know she would want me to move especially since she loved them.

after picking what i think she would want me to save i grab her t-shirt and walk back out of the door. i say one finally goodbye to the house before closing the back door properly. i quickly walk over to my car and get in putting the backpack into the passenger seat and driving to the dress shop to pick up my dress turns out im going to be abit more late then i comprehended.

sorry dad

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chapter fifty four.

please like and comment if you have any questions.

make sure you look after yourselves and drink plenty of water.

.k.