crazy in love {completed}

chapter one ~

~maddy lively~

Memories are either good things or mind killers they either destroy your life or make your life peaceful and to be honest with you if i had the chance to clear all the memories i have and start over i would.

but that's never going to happen so i guess i just need to live with it. i pushed the key into my front door and stepped in. me and my brother just got back from a trip to NYC we went to visit my aunty up there since its coming closer to her birthday and if it wasn't for that i mainly would have just wanted to see the city since everyone hypes it up so much.

jay walks in carrying both our bags behind me i tried to say no when he grabbed it but he wasn't having it he was saying all the stuff like 'my mom raised me to be a gentlemen' and all that shit till i eventually gave up, jay isn't my blood brother but he is still my brother, his mom and my dad got together about two years ago now so that's how we are connected meanwhile my little sister is my blood sister but shes also jays blood sister since she was made between Aliyah and my dad, its confusing but i think you know what i mean.

''omg you back'' my little sister comes running down the stairs and into my arms let me tell you i have missed this little girl so much. ''hey trouble'' i say spinning her in my arms while she's laughing. i set her down and she goes over to my brother to give him a hug.

i walk into the kitchen to find my
step mom and dad cooking and dancing in the kitchen. they are probably the visible definition of love that everyone dreams of. i mean if your into that sappy shit then they are the perfect role models for you. they are into those late night dates and holding hands while walking its honestly disgustingly cute.

i clear my throat and they turn to me. my step mom runs and embraces me in a hug. i hug her back and laugh as she almost falls taking me down with her '' ive missed you so much hun'' she says with an incredibly warm smile '' your dads been driving me crazy'' she whispers to me while i try hold in my giggle.

i let her go and walk over to my dad '' hey dad'' i say giving him a side hug while hes cooking '' how was your trip sweetheart'' he says putting the food into the oven to cook spaghetti yum! '' it was good but New York just isn't for me'' i say grabbing a glass of water and filling it up with ice and water. dont get me wrong i love the space and the city especially at night it looks beautiful but im just not that into people in general i like my personal space. and in new York you have crowed streets and people shoving and pushing each other to get to wherever they need to be. nah not for me.

''whys that'' he questions sitting at the small table we have in our kitchen. i sit down in the seat opposite him and take a sip of my water imminently calming as the cold water hits my throat '' its just the city is very big and you know how i am in places like that'' i say slightly laughing as he just nods understanding me.

one of the things i like most about my dad is that he doesn't push things he knows i will talk to him when im ready if something is bothering me.

'' im going to do some work ready for tomorrow don't stay up to late since school is tomorrow i know what your like maddy and then it will be a shouting match in the morning just to get everyone up'' my dad explains kissing my forehead and walking out of the kitchen. before he walks up the stairs i hear him shout. ''you dont have to watch the food'' and i smile i was just wondering if he wanted me to look after it or not.

i wash my glass up and place it on the drying rack. as im walking to the stairs i overhear a conversation in the living room. i know i shouldn't be doing this because knowing my clumsy ass i will get caught and it will be awkward but im nosey ok i cant help it.

i push the door open a little and see its my brother on the phone to someone i contemplate walking away before i see tears running down his face. i stand there for a second shocked because ive never seen him cry. he told me it was because his dad always used to say that men don't cry and forced him to man up from a young age. which every-time i think of that it pisses me off because everyone has emotions why hold them in.

i see him end the phone and sit on the couch i knock on the door like i haven't just been watching him for the past 10 minuets.

that sounds weird i promise im not a creep.

'' give me two seconds'' i hear him shout i look through the crack of the door and see him trying to stop his eyes from watering seeing him violently wiping his tears away pains me. '' hey jay its me'' i say softly pushing the door open fully

'' what's up'' he questions with a hint of worry but i cant tell if its because he thinks something is wrong with me or he thinks i can see hes been crying. i decide to leave the situation, now i know that might sound like a shit thing to do as a sister but hear me out it will make it 10x worse if i question him trust me ive been on the wrong end of that before its not pretty.

'' i just wanted to say good night'' i say as he stands up and hugs me the sudden contact shocks me for a second before i react and wrap my arms around his torso '' you know i love you right'' he says pulling away and looking at me ''i love you to jay'' i say smiling lightly although the sudden affection confuses me abit since he was just crying and now hes saying he loves me.

''im going for a drive will you cover for me if the parents wake up'' he questions grabbing his car keys and heading for the door '' do you want me to come with you'' i question getting this gut feeling in my stomach he smiles lightly and shakes his head '' get to bed or you will be in trouble'' he says before pausing and looking into my eyes ''im fine'' he says opening the front door and shutting it lightly before i could say anything else, his car was out of the drive-way and speeding down the street.

i head for the stairs but i still have this un-easy feeling about all this.

i strip and jump into the shower hopefully it will calm me down abit, i make sure to be quite since its like 11pm and everyone has either school or work tomorrow. i get out and throw on some sweat-pants and a oversized t-shirt, i lay my outfit out for tomorrow some blue jeans and a plain white top with whatever shoes i wanna pair it with tomorrow, i stick my phone on charge and get into bed.

it feels so good to be home and back into my bed, i grab my phone and text jay

{maddy}

hey be safe and i love you.

____read_11:05pm__

i look at it for a while waiting for him to message back but he doesn't, i place my phone back on my bedside table and close my eyes trying to shut out the worry im feeling im sure hes fine right i mean he wouldn't do anything im sure of it. questions swim through my head, who made him cry? why was he crying why did he leave? where has he gone? i pick up the pillow on the opposite side to me and put it on my face trying to block out the voice that repeats stuff all the time, but its no use.

eventually i feel my eyes fall heavy and sleep consumes me washing away any of the worry i had and just bringing me peace.

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.k.