Ecstasy

Cold Corpse

"I feel alone in your arms 

I feel you breaking my heart

If you love me, let me hear you." 

- Excerpt from Say My Name by Bebe Rexha, David Guetta, and J Balvin

Lorenzo continues to apologize over and over again but I really can't stand to hear it.

I'm not listening to anything that piece of trash says, especially what I just witnessed yesterday.

I keep myself holed up in the room and I just cry and wake up, try to take my mind off things, my mind begins thinking, I start crying and eventually gain a migraine so I go back to sleep. Just a continuous horrendous cycle.

Lorenzo continuously tells me that he loves me, not Natalie.

I'm confused. Why?

Why in the world does he still love me?

Natalie has literally everything desirable that I simply don't have. She's from Russia and can speak his native language, she's way more outgoing than me and she's stunning even with her ugly personality.

Plus, his mother loves her and Lorenzo cares so much about her opinion.

I was so happy yesterday. Why did everything have to go completely wrong?

For hours that's the only question I can think of. Three letters.

Why? Why? Why?

At around 6pm, I decide that I'm sick of sitting down and doing absolutely nothing. I need to face this situation with a cold heart.

Just like his.

I walk out of the room and into his office. He looks up and upon seeing me, his face completely brightens. He has a wide smile and he puts his papers down.

I sit down on the chair, crossing my legs and interlocking my fingers.

I swallow afterwards making sure no tears are going to fall and my voice won't break before I ask the question.

"Do you love me?"

He nods, "Yes, I'm so in love with you," he answers, "I have always been, Angel."

He's so difficult to understand. He will say this straight to my face and then turn around and smile like a madman while sitting on the couch with Natalie and the wedding planner.

I look up at his brown eyes.

"Why did you propose to her?" I ask. At the beginning of the sentence I sounded strong but my voice falters at the end.

He doesn't answer immediately but stays quiet.

He leans over his desk and grabs my hands, holding them tightly in his tan ones.

"I'll explain soon."

What was I expecting?

I instantly rip my hands out of his grasp, I immediately stand up and he looks up at me with some sort of emotion that I don't care to look for.

"Explain now," I demand.

"I can't," he whispers and I scoff at his stupid ass response.

"You're so full of shit," I seethe, tears beginning to sting my eyes, "You're in love with Natalie and you should just fucking admit it."