Soul Ties

Chapter 44: Core Confessions

His words punch me in the gut. Every syllable. Every letter thrown inside me as if it was a ship of its own sailing through me. This is what I wanted. A confession, a reason why he was the way he was to me. The layers I wanted to dissect did that all on their own. He willingly gave me the key to the emotions he had locked up as if he were tired of holding it behind closed doors. My tongue is fat in my mouth, saliva completely gone so I can't form words.

"It wasn't that you reminded me so much of my mother." he continues, eyeing the glowing emotions that are coming through his hands and feet. This time he doesn't stop it, choosing to ignore it as his words spill out.

"Honestly, you were kind of like a tsunami compared to her calm waters. And as much as I want to blame Thysus and this whole absurd soul tie magic on her, I can't. I can't stand here looking at you and say that I don't feel that warmth now, even with you so far across the room. I won't continue to lie to you or myself."

He shifts his weight back and forth through his posture, as if he's not sure what to do with his body.

"I didn't want to admit it back there when we had first met, because I didn't know you. I just knew what we all learned about soul ties so I hadn't put much thought into actually liking you." he tells me. His expression changes when he sees my mouth turn down.

"No, no. I'm not saying this right." he sighs, balling his hands into fists, clearly frustrated. "After my mother died I never imagined falling in love. Ogmellos either, but for obvious reasons. Even with the advantage of a mate, I didn't care for it because of that emptiness inside of me. So when we met and spoke to each other, I wasn't really hoping for anything.

But after I saw you with Ogmellos in the hall, saw you with him out there hunting, even that feeling of you being in his room when I wasn't certain if you were, it hurt. I'll admit it now I was jealous. And I was fighting that jealousy because if I admitted why I was jealous, I was afraid the universe would take you away from me."

His eyebrows fall slightly, his gaze never leaving mine as my eyes watch him. In four large steps he's in front of me, our bodies closer than I would like but I can't move a muscle. I'm afraid if I move then he'll stop talking and I won't be able to hear the end.

He lifts his glowing fingers to lift my hand, the same hand my golden thread is on. He peers at it and moves it up so it's in front of us.

"I asked that question before because I wanted to know if you could ever feel that way for me. If you could ever love me unconditionally, even with all the broken pieces you've seen inside me. I hoped that if I could control that gaping hole inside me and finally mend it with you, that you could feel for me something maybe stronger than what you feel for Ogmellos."

He brings my threaded pointer finger to his lips, closing his eyes as he brushes it back and forth. Even without him saying my name, the unwanted haze begins to form inside me. I stare at him grazing my finger over his warm mouth, his curled dark lashes covering his eyes, and my stomach flips.

"I can't confidently tell you I'm in love with you just yet." he opens his eyes, his mouth moving against my finger. His warm breath against my skin raises a shiver on the back of my neck. "But I know I will be. I will love you if you give me a little time to fix myself for you. And once I do, I will breathe for you. You'll be the life that keeps me standing. Every blood cell moving inside me will be imprinted with your name on it.

You will consume me until the very skin that glows before you illuminates just for you. I will lay my life down for you because if I can't protect you with everything I have, there's no reason for me to live on. Once I love you, my life is yours to do with however you please. There will be nothing in this galaxy, nothing in this universe, no God or Goddess that could keep me from you."