Chapter 63: Holding On To My Dreams

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I spin around in the blue field, the flowers swaying in the breeze, but to my surprise it isn't hot. I know it should be drying out my lungs and tightening my skin, but it doesn't. In fact, the wind almost feels cool against me. I turn, searching for the water that I know is supposed to be around me, but I see nothing. Just the endless miles of navy and light blue petals at my feet.

A hand caresses my arm and I spin, though I don't feel surprised when I see who's standing behind me. Deep down this feels right, like I'd been waiting for him to show and he finally did.

"Dad," I say, the calmness and love in my tone heard. He smiles, his four arms opening for me to hug him. And I do. I throw myself against his chest, his scales softer than I thought they'd be. His lower arms hold me tight while the upper ones rub my head. He presses his chin to me and I feel his smile still there. When we release each other, I don't feel empty. I feel the opposite. I feel whole.

"Lynx." His voice is like the water back home. Comforting and familiar, but endless. "Goddess, look at you. You look just like your mother." He moves me away at arms length to study me, but then pulls me back in for another hug.

"She told me I get my resilience from you," I tell him. His chuckle shakes us both.

"Come, let's sit for a bit."

We both kneel down in the field, the smooth petals rubbing themselves against my thighs. I look at my father, but his focus is off in the distance.

"What's wrong?" I ask him. He brings his attention back to me.

"Hm? Oh, nothing," he smiles. "How's your mother?"

I shrug. "She's sad without you." He nods like he knew that was coming. "But she's okay. She has a lot of other little Luniods that keep her busy. And I think they make her happy too."

"That's good. What I would give just to see her smile once more."

I grab his hand that's resting on his knee. "You could. You could come back with me and-"

"Lynx, you know this is just a dream." His voice is sad, and I wonder if it's my subconscious making it that way or if it's really him.

"I know," I agree, dipping my chin. "I guess I just wanted you to say something else."

"I only say what you know in the back of your mind."

I sigh. "So you wouldn't be able to tell me if what that guard said was true or not? About you going to save your sister from banishment?"

He tilts his head to the side, his sad eyes staring at mine. "I wish I could, darling. I wish I was real so I could hug you and tell you it'll be alright. If I was there none of this would've happened, and your friends wouldn't be in danger."

My lip quivers. "But you're not here. You're just in my head. And the only reason I can see your face is because of that picture of you with mom." My voice breaks. "I don't even know if this is your real voice."

He pulls me closer to him and I rest my forehead on his chest, sobbing lightly against him. Stroking my back, he tries to quiet me, shushing the tears back inside me.

"Look." He lifts my head to the sky, the sunlight starting to fade to a purple and pink sunset.

I stand, my neck moving back watching the time shift quickly. He comes up behind me, both hands on my shoulders. "We don't have much time left. You're starting to wake up."

"No! I'm not ready to go," I say in dismay. "I just want to stay here for a little bit longer."

"I know you do, but you have to go. You need to save them." He looks up at the faded light above us, the sky almost completely dark now. His eyes glance down back at my tear stained face, his knuckles wiping them. I grab his hand before he moves it away, leaning my face into his touch, and somehow it reminds me of something, but I can't remember. Have I done this with someone before?

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