Chances | Dazai X Reader

Eighty Three • Hopeless

It just wasn't this one.

• • •

Oda's death was no joke. His name was all over the news, actually. They claimed that he would've become a very popular writer if he had been able to publish his book. Seeing him all over the news only made Dazai's heartbreak even more piece by piece. He wanted to read the book, and Oda was going to tell him—he was finally going to live out his dream.

The day that Dazai had gone in to grab Oda's stuff from his office, only about a week after his death, he didn't dare to look at the manuscript or any other things that had to do with Oda's book. He was going to hear and read it when Oda published it, when Oda told him the plot. He's going to, in another life, he will be the one that gets to read his best friend's story.

Explanations were difficult, sorting things out in the Mafia was never easy. Mori's death was harder to cover up—much harder than Mori covering up the last boss's death. He didn't have some sort of disease that was taking over his body, nor was he old enough to die of age.

Now, four years later, Dazai Osamu stands tall on the highest floor of the building, resting in his office. His relationship—both with you and Chuuya, separately—have still been good. And he's thankful for that. He can't handle another change, not anymore. It had taken a while for you to process the fact that your boyfriend was now a Mafia Boss at the age of eighteen—now twenty-two.

He took the initiative of making both you and Chuuya executives—along with Kouyou, who was surprisingly very kind during everything. No, it wasn't only because you two were the closest people he had, you and Chuuya were also fitting for the role itself.

Dazai himself has become much colder, harsh even, with the other members of the Mafia. A month after both Oda's and Mori's death, he was rather careless, making lower ranked members go on more intense missions. He didn't care what happened to them.

It's all for us, right?

Being a Mafia Boss at the age of eighteen was difficult, but Dazai would always look so well kept and it was so hard to tell whether or not he was okay, if he was doing better—

One day, you, Chuuya, and Kouyou stood in the room with him. Kouyou had asked a small question about Mori—trust her, it wasn't her intention to have Dazai react the way he did.

"Do you have any idea what that man did to me?" Dazai asks, voice cracking as he tries to maintain himself. He can't break down now. "I thought talks like that were normal among the Mafia—and then Chuuya showed up, and he didn't seem to ever be held back, he never had a one on one talk with Mori, did he?" His head turns over to look at Chuuya. "That night you saw me drinking at four in the morning wasn't just because. Mori kept getting worse and worse—" he swallows hard, fists clenched on the desk.

"—it was all just some sort of test and if I had just killed him earlier," Dazai says, and rage suddenly boils in his chest, "Odasaku would have been alive."

Four years later, Dazai seems to have gotten better, but even he's not sure how he's feeling. You and Chuuya are helping, you've always helped. You sit in the office with him, watching him as he talks to another member of the Mafia. "Boss, I don't think I'm okay with th—" Dazai cuts him off, pinching the bridge of his nose, "All tasks are life or death, just because I mention it doesn't mean that you get to run away since you're scared."

The man stutters, "B-Boss, I can't do this." Dazai gets closer to him, now towering over the man because of another growth spurt he had. "Do you want me to kill you myself? Go and complete the task given, that's how you'll live." The man leaves the office almost immediately, and Dazai goes back to the chair that's now next to you.

The partnership between the three of you had never changed. Dazai didn't like it when it was separate missions, going as a trio was always going to be one of the things that Dazai wanted to keep the same. Even if technically, a Mafia Boss doesn't exactly go on missions themselves, since when did Dazai ever follow the rules given?

On the other hand, Tachihara and Chuuya's relationship was never fixed. Neither one of them reached out, and Chuuya was too focused on Dazai to even notice. Tachihara's gone now, Chuuya doesn't know where he went. He might've found a new job, maybe he's working under another organization, maybe he died. He doesn't know, he doesn't care.

Dazai kisses your lips softly before pulling his chair forward, placing his arms on the desk. "What are you thinking about?" you ask him, as he was oddly silent—he'd usually say something right after. Distractions, distractions, distractions. He doesn't want to think of you and Chuuya as distractions, but he can't put it in words how much the two of you mean to him. He couldn't believe how gentle the two of you were with him when you had first heard of everything that happened.

He felt fragile almost, like if someone got too close, he'd shatter.

He's right back at step one, isn't he?

"Mori," he replies, the name tastes bitter on his tongue. You look at him, confused. He turns his head to face you, and he sees you raise an eyebrow at him.

"His plan isn't over."