Chances | Dazai X Reader

Eighteen • It All Slowly Breaks

"One glass of whiskey."

• • •

He sits impatiently as he waits for the bartender to get his drink, sighing heavily as he pinches the bridge of his nose in disappointment.

How could he just run out like that?

His jaw tenses without him realizing. "Here's your glass," The man says. He mumbles a quick 'Thanks' before taking the glass into his hand, spinning it lightly to watch the ice follow the movements of the glass. Right before he's about to take a sip of his drink, a familiar voice calls him, "Dazai?"

Dazai looks up to the person who called him, eyes widening slightly since he didn't expect to see Oda here at this time, "Odasaku." Oda walks over to him, sitting down on the empty seat, "Why are you here so early?"

"Panicked and ran out of my room when [Y/N] was there with me," He says casually. As if he normally runs out when he's unsettled—it's unnatural for him to do that, but the whole accident is an excuse for him to take off the masked feelings he always felt on a daily basis. "Why? Did she say something?" Oda asks, raising an eyebrow since he always thought your relationship with Dazai was more comforting. Which it is.

"I- We-" He stutters as he puts a hand to his forehead, covering his eyes a bit. "We kissed and then she said something I said to yo-" He says it as quickly as possible, but Oda doesn't miss what he says, so he cuts him off quickly, "Kissed? Wow, Dazai, I'm so proud of you for becoming a grown man and expressing yourself." Dazai laughs at his reaction, "Well I didn't exactly tell her how I felt, but the point is, she said something I said to you before the mission and it...sort of triggered something? I-It's stupid and wrong, I know."

"Dazai, nothing about that is wrong, it's fine and I'm sure she'll understand." Oda's voice slowly tunes out as his mind drifts back.

The redness illuminating from Chuuya's body, the scars formed on his skin, his dilated pupils. It's all just so much for Dazai and he's never had that problem before, and it's weird. He never feared what may happen to Chuuya if he didn't reach him in time, he'd immediately shut down the thought even if it did come across.

"He's alive, and that's what you should be focusing on." Oda says. Dazai finally snaps out of his thoughts that felt like he's been lost for centuries. "You're right."

"Weren't you with the kids?" Dazai asks him, because come to think of it, Oda never told him why he came here of all places. "Yeah, but they all wanted to take a nap or something like that," Oda slides Dazai's glass into his own hands and puts it to the side. "And you shouldn't be drinking right now." "I shouldn't be drinking at all, but it's a little too late now," Dazai corrects him.

"Why'd you come here anyway? It's still early," Dazai starts again. "I figured you'd be here when I heard you weren't in your room or with Chuuya. Just thought I'd check up on how you're doing." Because Oda is a good friend. Honestly, you can see Oda and Dazai's relationship as a father son thing or just plain friendship, and it's nice. "Well, it's good to know that you know exactly where to find me."

"Are you going to visit Chuuya again with [Y/N] tomorrow?" Oda asks him. Oda doesn't really feel the need to visit Chuuya himself only since he was never close with Chuuya. And not to mention the fact that Chuuya...He would glare at both Oda and Dazai when the two hung out together while he was around. Jealousy or not, Oda gets the idea. It's almost like any other member of the mafia that isn't visiting Chuuya at the moment, they'll only talk to him when he gets back.

"Yeah, I'm probably gonna go everyday till he's able to come back," Dazai says, completely honest with his reply.

• • •

Chuuya lays on the bed, looking down at his fingers that are still red and swollen from that night. To be completely fair, he didn't think he'd be here after he collapsed, he simply thought it was over for him. The last ringing of the bullet that was shot, and then his hearing wasn't too well. The last thing he heard was Dazai's voice, "Hey...Hey I'm right here okay." And if Chuuya still had energy at that moment, he'd probably be smiling like an idiot.

He shifts uncomfortably in his bed, time passing much quicker than usual today, which is good for him since he really wants to get out of the hospital as soon as possible. He continuously tosses and turns in the bed, thinking about whether or not he'll see you two tomorrow, and maybe not have to go through an awkward coming out scene.

But either way, he's glad that he finally came out to someone, even if that someone is Dazai Osamu. Point being, it felt nice to actually say those words out loud.

He turns one last time, finally finding a spot that is more comfortable than the last, making sure that he's not pulling on any tubes or anything like that. His chest rises and falls slowly as he closes his eyes in hopes of sleep coming to him. The darkness of his closed eyelids is all he sees throughout his slumber, empty tunnels of nothingness.

Because Chuuya Nakahara does not dream.