Chances | Dazai X Reader

Nineteen • It Feels Like Some Weird Dream

"Because Chuuya Nakahara does not dream."

• • •

He has no memory of his dreams, because all he sees as he sleeps in complete darkness. An endless tunnel that has no light shining at the end, he never had the opportunity to dream. He has no memories from his childhood, he technically didn't even have a childhood. Chuuya never liked the idea of sleeping either, people would always talk about their insane dreams—something he wanted to feel for a very long time.

He cannot tell the difference between simply closing your eyes and actually sleeping either, so when he wakes up randomly, his mind goes still. And his idea of death? Same thing, your eyes close, but the only difference is that you don't wake up. So that night, a night that he'll never be able to forget, stays with him forever, reminding him that he is nothing but only partially human.

Or at least, that's what Chuuya keeps telling himself.

Because he doesn't know how he's supposed to act, he doesn't know if he is who he is. But every time, every single time, he's reminded that Dazai's ability only works on humans. It gives him hope.

He doesn't realize that morning has reached him until a nurse walks into the room, giving him—the worst tasting—food. "We're gonna check up on you today again," the nurse says kindly. 'Don't they check on me everyday?' Chuuya thinks, rubbing his eyes. Right before the nurse is about to leave the room, she turns around again, "Oh and." She motions towards you and Dazai, "They're here."

He smiles, the flecks of different shades of blue looking more lively when he lays his eyes on the two of you. Getting here together was...somewhat awkward. Neither one of you talked about the night before, nor smooth out the fact that Dazai panicked and went out. Because it was extremely random. So when he came into your room, acting like he normally did and telling you to get ready, you assumed that he didn't want to talk about it. Not yet, at least.

And God, you're still tired from last night because you couldn't sleep properly. Mind still stuck on the fact that you and Dazai kissed. "Hello, Chibi," Dazai says, you glance down at his lips for a second. You mentally slap yourself, trying to think of anything other than that. Chuuya rolls his eyes at the nickname, "Mackerel, [Y/N], nice to see you too."

"Do you know when you'll be able to come back?" You ask him, looking towards the clock. It was still eight in the morning, a normal time to be woken up at a hospital. "No, but they'll be talking about it today. I mean, I'm practically healed so..."

He does look better, the bruises from his knuckles are fading. And well, what Dazai noticed is that his lips are back to normal.

Yeah, he's definitely still thinking about last night too.

And as if it was on cue, a doctor walks into the room, "Hello, Chuuya. I'm assuming you're doing better." Chuuya nods, glancing at the two of you. He raises an eyebrow when he notices that you're standing apart farther than usual. Not that Chuuya keeps track of how many fucking feet you're apart from Dazai...but it's more significant.

"So, I'm gonna need you to raise your arm a few times, you know, the basic stuff." No, he does not know, doctor, you're acting like he's been in an accident multiple times. But he gets the idea, so it's not that bad. "Are you okay if they're still here?" The doctor asks Chuuya.

No, kick them out. Why's raising my arm embarrassing?

That's what he wants to say, but his mouth comes up with something else, "No, it's fine." You see, when the doctor asked Chuuya to raise his arm, he expected something slow, shaky, however...Chuuya swings his arm almost instantly, the muscle pretty much toned as he does so. The doctor's eyes widen in shock, "The other?" And he does it again, no pain on his body at all.

The doctor closes the book in his hands, "Well, Chuuya, all of your other tests that we did last night came out good so," He looks over at you and Dazai. "You're okay to go, but that doesn't mean you can be reckless at home, and also just be careful when getting back home. I'll call a nurse to take out all the pipes and whatnot."

No questions asked.

You and Dazai both smile at Chuuya, "You're coming back so early, wow," You say happily. Because the very limited days Chuuya was at the hospital felt like hell, excruciatingly slow.

The nurse that was first in the room comes back, "So you're leaving so soon, huh?" She says as she removes the tubes connected to Chuuya's body. "Uh, yeah," Chuuya responds awkwardly. She takes off the last one, putting them towards the side before speaking, "You're free to go."

He swings his legs to the right side of the bed, getting up easily and walking towards you two, "Apparently I'm back so soon."

• • •

And yes, he's glad that he's out of there because it was absolutely disgusting and the bed was not comfortable at all. The first thing he does is meet Kouyou, hugging her quickly before coming back into the hallway with you two.

It was a great idea leaving you and Dazai alone again, the quietness of the hallway was only filled with Dazai clearing his throat occasionally.

Maybe he's thinking of something he shouldn't. He's a teenager, it's only natural afterall, but he controls the urge to just—

Chuuya comes back from the room, "My room?" He asks. As if he already knew that you were going to say that, because he did. So yeah, round of applause for Dazai for maintaining his thoughts and hormones.

And that's how something good like Chuuya coming back turned into—"You shitty, Mackerel! Stupid fish." You only went to the bathroom for like two minutes, what the hell happened? You walked back into the room slowly, watching the two of them argue—over God knows what—as per usual. It's nice to be back in this atmosphere.

Dazai's head twitches to the side because he did not expect Chuuya to raise his voice all of a sudden. Even if it's just Chuuya. Maybe he should come with a warning? Because Dazai can't handle unexpected loud noises, his whole body moves by itself, not paying attention to what's happening, and it's only the second time this has happened with Chuuya. When he's at a club? Yeah that's expected, he has no sort of reaction. The thing is, he's okay with noises in general, hell he might even say he likes the sound of fingernails scraping against a chalkboard, but when it's when he's completely off guard? Not really.

"Can you two shut up," You say, trying to talk over them. They immediately stop arguing, as if you're their leader or something. "How have you two not gotten a noise complaint?!" Chuuya and Dazai instantly look at each other, both of them letting out a small laugh before turning to you. "The rooms are soundproof," Dazai chuckles.

Oh. OH.

"And you didn't care to tell me? I've been here for months, how did I just realize?" You say, slapping your forehead lightly. "It didn't seem like it mattered too much, I think?" Chuuya says, slightly confused.

Yes, yes it does matter. It matters a lot, actually.

"Well at least I found out sooner than later."